Aug 24

An open letters to the makers of toilet paper.

Dear Toilet Paper Manufacturer,

I believe we have a real problem with your toilet paper. As a woman struggling with infertility, I stare, analyze and examine your toilet paper on a daily basis. Depending on the day in my cycle, I am either looking for a clear substance (think raw egg whites), a brown or pinkish smudge or a big red splatter to be apparent on the toilet paper (or in my underwear). I am confident that I examine your TP better than any of your staff or health inspectors.

You see, the toilet paper is essential to my day and I have noticed major flaws in your production.

First of all, there are sometimes tiny red or brown dots already present on the white paper BEFORE I wipe. This confuses me to no end – did those red dots come from me or was it present on the paper before I wiped? If I happen to use recyclable paper, there seems to be more dots and smudges already on the paper. I am then forced to wipe again in another location, just to be certain. If you manufacturer white toilet paper, it should be 100 percent white WITHOUT any suspicious smudges! Plus, no one wants to see little stains on a piece of toilet paper anyways. Next time you go into production, please think of the millions of infertile women out there who examine the TP on a daily basis.


An infertile toilet paper examiner

12 Responses to “#912 The red dotted toilet paper”

  1. Shanny says:


  2. Busted Tube says:

    Another fabulous post!
    The disturbing thing I've found myself doing as a result of all the obsessive ttc behavior is checking the toilet paper when I don't have any reason to… gross!

  3. Trish says:

    AMEN! it doesn't stop when you get pregnant either.

  4. Ariha says:

    This is true sadly

  5. babyhopes says:

    YES! Every time I see one of those red dots, I wonder if it was from me or not.

  6. Michele says:

    OMG, me too! I do that same thing. The red dots on the TP freak me out.

  7. Lea says:

    Sometimes I see a tiny red string on the toilet paper and wonder if it came from my pants.

  8. DawnMarieTTC says:

    Amen! Great article as usual. I was just talking about this today actually since today was the first day of checking the TP, and I imagine that it will only get worse as the next few days progress. I even found myself checking when I didn't even have to go to the washroom. I am so glad I am not the only one obsessed with checking the TP

  9. finding_ac says:

    the black dots are the ones that scare me!

    ♥ ac

  10. Rach says:

    Or was that little red dot a piece of red fuzz from the pajama pants I was wearing while putting on my make up this morning?

  11. Aditya Aneja says:

    So I am not the only one who has seen tiny red and brown spots on unused toilet paper….that’s a relief!!!

  12. Danielle says:

    I honestly thought I was the only one that noticed this! Every month I tell myself that maybe its implantation spotting. :-)