Which is better? Learning a friend is pregnant before or after you eat?
You are meeting your friend for lunch and she excitedly blurts out the news that she is eating for two. Inside, a deep, familiar sadness starts to pound at your chest. Your eyes quietly water behind your lids. Your inner voice says: “I started trying months ago, how did she get pregnant so quickly. Why isn’t it me?” But your outer, rational voice says: “Oh my gosh. I am so happy for you. You look great. You’re not even showing yet.” Now it’s time to look at the menu. She happily can’t decide what to order but you are a different story. You now have either lost your appetite completely or you try to find the most unhealthy item on the menu. Most likely, your appetite is ruined and you feel terrible for secretly feeling so selfish.
But why are YOU the one feeling selfish?
SHE just ruined YOUR appetite. You were hungry a minute ago and now you don’t know if you can even stomach bread and water. It cost you money to drive to the restaurant and now you can’t even eat! You paid $12.00 to park and took time out of your busy schedule to meet her. If she had waited until after the meal, you probably would have felt sick to your stomach anyways. Now you have to wait at least another hour to have a complete breakdown and cry in private. Your evening is pretty much ruined. In my view, SHE is the selfish one.
When the restaurant bill arrives, let her treat.