Jul 13

Which is better? Learning a friend is pregnant before or after you eat?

You are meeting your friend for lunch and she excitedly blurts out the news that she is eating for two. Inside, a deep, familiar sadness starts to pound at your chest. Your eyes quietly water behind your lids. Your inner voice says: “I started trying months ago, how did she get pregnant so quickly. Why isn’t it me?” But your outer, rational voice says: “Oh my gosh. I am so happy for you. You look great. You’re not even showing yet.” Now it’s time to look at the menu. She happily can’t decide what to order but you are a different story. You now have either lost your appetite completely or you try to find the most unhealthy item on the menu. Most likely, your appetite is ruined and you feel terrible for secretly feeling so selfish.

But why are YOU the one feeling selfish?

SHE just ruined YOUR appetite. You were hungry a minute ago and now you don’t know if you can even stomach bread and water. It cost you money to drive to the restaurant and now you can’t even eat! You paid $12.00 to park and took time out of your busy schedule to meet her. If she had waited until after the meal, you probably would have felt sick to your stomach anyways. Now you have to wait at least another hour to have a complete breakdown and cry in private. Your evening is pretty much ruined. In my view, SHE is the selfish one.

When the restaurant bill arrives, let her treat.

16 Responses to “#953 You may lose your lunch during pregnancy news”

  1. Eileen says:

    HA HA HA HA!!! I just threw up a little imagining me sitting at the dinner table with one of my friends. God I hope this doesn't happen to me any time soon.

  2. Infertile "hoping to be fertile" Naomi says:

    Always have a few antacids on you at all times.

  3. Jessica says:

    Thank you for commenting on my blog. This blog is hysterical!! It's so honest. I also LOVE your bachelorette blog. I am obsessed with that show!!

  4. Kacy says:

    In my version I don't look for anything on the menu, I just go straight to the bar and order the biggest margarita I can find!!

  5. Anonymous says:

    I second Kacy's idea – margarita time! Make that 2!!

  6. Carly says:

    A drink is definitely the answer. Got to do something to make her jealous, right?

  7. Infertile "hoping to be fertile" Naomi says:

    I probably wouldn't have a drink as it would be too close to my period. Or maybe I would. Bad non-mother.

  8. Kristin says:

    Thanks for commenting on my blog. I absolutely love reading your posts, everything is so true. I left you an award on my blog :)

  9. Elizabeth says:

    I have just recently experienced the after-meal announcement! No matter when you hear it, it is heart-breaking all the same! Anyone else tired of living life 2 weeks at a time…a week of AF followed by a week of trying…then the 2 weeks of hopeful stupidity only to be followed by stupid mother nature once again:) At least we are all in this together! Thanks for your blog!

  10. Jenny H. says:

    like the time our friends who had been trying four months invited us over for breakfast (they live behind us) and blurted the news mid-meal…I think I kept stuffing my face to stop myself from talking…we were thrilled (they are our closest friends) but having just come out of lap surgery and being put on the pill…ugh.

    About 1 minute after leaving my hubby said "so…???" and I just started bawling on his shoulder….he said he felt the same way and that was the first time I'd seen him look as upset about another pregnant woman as I felt…in a weird way it was kind of nice to share that sad moment.

  11. Angela says:

    Yes I had this happen to me, and she had the nerve to ask me why I wasn't eating. Doh!!

  12. Rach says:

    Oh, he's a doozie. Try discovering you are spotting at work and no later than 5 minutes a co-worker comes up to you holding her stomach and says, "I'm not sure if you have heard yet but I am expecting!" Happened to me in March of this year. I wonder what she was thinking about the reaction on my face, LOL!! I know it wasn't pretty.

  13. Nadine says:

    Last April, I was out for lunch with some friends from high school. One had revealed her second pregnancy only two weeks before, and just before the meal arrived my other friend announced his wife was pregnant with their first child. Did I mention I had just gotten my period that morning? And we'd already been trying for 14 months? It took everything I had not to burst into tears. As it was, I did well up a bit, but I hope they thought it was tears of happiness, not the burning surge of disappointment and failure.

    We're at the two year mark now (with no medical influence yet) and it's getting tough to stay positive, but finding this blog today helps a bit. Thanks!

  14. Broken says:

    When my friend comes over to visit me after having laprascopic surgery to have my tube removed from an ectopic pregnancy…she came over with flowers and NEWS I’m pregnant wtih my 2nd child! talk about insensitive

  15. FailingAtBabyMakin' says:

    Was at lunch with a close friend from work when she happily announced that she was preggers, followed by: “OMGosh, it was SOO easy. We got pregnant the same month we started trying!”… Sadly, I couldn’t have a drink (or several) as I had to go back to work … My veggie burger was NOT yummy, and Im never going to the restaurant again!

  16. Jalara says:

    Broken – I am SO sorry! I hope you asked her to leave!