Jun 29

You’re in your bedroom one night and you are curious to see how you would look as a pregnant woman. Ok. You were not curious because you’ve done this before. You just want to torture yourself.

Your husband isn’t around and so you take an article of clothing, perhaps a sweater or a night shirt, and stuff it down your shirt creating a beautiful (fake) baby bump. You stare at yourself in the mirror, just enjoying your pretend pregnancy. You tenderly pat your belly and do the waddle that you have mastered in your private moments. You stare at your (fake) expanding belly for a little too long and when your husband arrives home, you remove the shirt immediately. He doesn’t need to know how weird you’ve gotten although he already knows this.

You would rarely admit this to anyone, but you have also stuffed some other items under your shirt when given the opportunity.

These fake baby bump items also include:

- watermelon and other pieces of fruit
- a balloon
- a pillow
- Mr. Potato Head
- your coat

14 Responses to “#962 You have faked a baby bump”

  1. Clare says:

    Ha ha ha! Done it sooo many times! And dont need to shove anything down there – i just push out my belly, it's big enough!!

  2. ashley says:

    I've done it a thousand times. Too funny!

  3. finding_ac says:

    you forgot to say salad bowl…but me…alas i am fat enough i dont need to use those items i just pooch out my fat.lol

    ♥ ac

  4. Jacki says:

    I love your blog. You seem to know EXACTLY what I am goind through.

  5. twondra says:

    Soooo true. :)Love it!

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Wow! I just started reading your blog today and I'm so glad I did! Thanks for making me laugh and taking my mind off of the fact that I still have two to know if this cycle worked:)

  7. InfertileNaomi says:

    Welcome Elizabeth!

  8. A says:

    Hilarious! I just came here for the firs time today! :)Our senior year in college for halloween, 4 of my friends and I went to the thrift store and bought maternity shirts, and blew up balloons to our desired level of pregnancy! Oh, if it were only that easy!

  9. Kathleen says:

    With my gut? There's no need to pretend!

  10. Jenny H. says:

    I actually get excited when my endometriosis causes me to bloat…I'm pretty skinny but when this happens nobody would argue if I said i was 4 months along :)

    of course I've also done the rolled up shirt or pillow under the top trick too

  11. Jenny H. says:

    p.s. potato head? really?

  12. InfertileNaomi says:

    Mr. Potato Head was an anonymous suggestion.

  13. mommywannabe says:

    My best friend and I went to a local maternity store, went in the fitting rooms, put on the fake baby bumps, and took pictures of eachother with our cell phones. We then sent the pictures to our significant others.

  14. Anony(mouse) says:

    I do the baby waddle at the drop of a hat! (without even realising it lol) … The morning of my last retrieval, I was unconsciously waddling around the house when my DH took one look at me and said: “err… you’re not preggers yet!” So I tried to play it off like I had hurt my foot lol