Does anyone else find yourself staring at other people’s children? Sometimes I find myself zeroing in on a chubby baby or an active toddler and zoning out, wishing for my own, fantasizing. I always snap out of it grateful that the Mommy or Daddy present isn’t snatching their kid up and hauling rear away from the crazy staring lady..
Bosom buddies!
I had a funny experience when bringing the sperm sample into the doctor’s office for our first IUI. It was a Saturday morning and I was waiting for the doctor to come and unlock the office. Another woman was there as well but we didn’t really talk about why we were both there. Once the doctor arrived and we all walked in she said, “o.k. ladies hand ‘em over” and at the same time the other women and I pulled our little test tubes full of active sperm out from shirts (where we had the test tubes snuggled between our breasts). We looked at each other and laughed. It was quite a funny scene to be part of!
When your SO asks you if you “took a shot”, he isn’t worried about your tequila habit!
You know your phlebotomist by name… Hey Sue, how did the roses do in the storm last night?
You become superstitious about everything, including all the weird food that is supposed to make you magically pregnant, like pineapple core, flax meal and ice cream.
When you hear someone’s plan to “wait a few months and then have a baby in the summer” you laugh your head off.
You’re annoyed that you were so hellbent on using a condom with your college boyfriend.
You walk into the exam room and say “I’ve emptied my bladder and I’m not allergic to latex”. Hot.
Your Halloween plans don’t involve dressing up as a slutty _____, nor do they involve shepherding children down the street. Instead, you’re looking into perhaps a Vegas weekend or a getaway to a town with no children allowed.
You choose your spring break hotel based on the LACK of children’s activities.
Your husband makes helpful observations about your cervical mucus (ewwww).
When you have track marks on your arms from all the blood being drawn during IVF and IUI cycles.
OR
The fact that you know that the small tank that the cryobanks use to ship sperm fits in a regular rolling suitcase. It makes it slightly less obvious when you walk into the doctor’s office with it but really only slightly.
How about when you attend a wedding and wonder how quickly the newleyweds will become pregnant and think ‘they better not have a child before us’. He He
I cried over something little my MIL said to me this weekend and I was excited to be crying because I thought maybe I was emotional because I could be pregnant!
I was at an apt and my husband happened to be with while doing the ultrasound…. I burst into tears when I saw him starring at my vagina with the doctor….really?? Could he at least have been looking at the ultrasound screen? Sometimes it’s really hard to feel like a woman, but then I remember that I am because a man could never do what us infertile women do- nor would they have the patience for it!
I have pcos, and I’ll never forget one of my ultrasounds, the doctor tried to make my ovaries sound pretty, he said, “well your ovaries look like a beautiful pearl necklace.” I replied, “well isn’t that lovely” (sigh)
I always get excited when I know more than a doctor I’m seeing, or when a friend asks me a question about her period or something strange going on, and I always have the answer! I sometimes feel like i could be a doctor or write a book. I told my husband this one evening, he replied, “and that’s something that you are excited about?” haha…yeah i guess, just trying to look at the bright side!
Hi ladies!
I stumbled upon this Youtube link, “My Aunt Jane Knows MOre than My RE.” It puts all the stupid advice we’ve been told into this folksy-sounding song. It made me laugh and then it made me cry. I’m pasting it here. Hope you like it. Hugs as always to you.
When you purposely dont have sex when you’re ovulating just to see if the b6 you took will actually work to lengthen your luteal phase so you dont go POAS crazy if your period is one day later than usual… :/
Because you can celebrate the new year by making paper chains out of your lab strip ovulation and pregnancy tests. Because you coo at baby new year pictures. Because your new year’s resolution is to be pregnant in the next year (same as last year’s resolution).
Because you think we should legislate against smug Baby on Board car stickers. They are pointless and they always appear when you least need a slap in the face about the fact you are childless. Why do parents deserve special status on the roads anyway? They may have had intercourse 9 months ago but I bet you they won’t have had as much or as frequent intercourse as your average TTC couple in any given month……..
When your ttc buddy and you laugh over things you will never tell your future children.. such as You would not believe the amount of times your dad and I did the BD to have you… or I already spent your entire allowance on fertility treatments.
The Oh so Famous Reasons: “Why Don’t You Have Kids?” and “Don’t You Want To Have Kids?”
Really, really.. These are always women or teenagers who take their Fertility for granted and just assume EVERY woman can get pregnant. Well I got news for ya, Its not that simple or easy for some of Us.
Now if you will excuse me I will go back to drinking my Womb Toner Tea and Glaring at episodes of 16 and Pregnant
You REFUSE to buy any new clothes … even though the fertility meds have caused some MAJOR weight gain and nothing really fits anymore. And you’re looking forward to getting pregnant, not just for the obvious reasons, but because you get a whole new rockin’ wardrobe. And maternity jeans don’t have buttons or zippers.
I just found your blog, it is awesome!
Because Christmas morning you get your period if you been bad. This is what happened to me last christmas after my first iui done in dec. cruel joke if you ask me.
Because i got my period the day my little sister has her babyshower (I guess it makes sense since this is my second iui, my first one was in december, got my period x’mas mornig)…
when your husband decides to do the washing and puts the new red bed sheets ( which he bought) in the machine with all your white towels. So now ALL your bath towels have pink and red streaks on them
Not as Fun: Raising your nephew, while your sister-in-law is in jail/an addict. Trying to make everything in your life as natural and womb friendly as possible. She however does LOTS of drugs, she is now pregnant with #3 while your body can’t hold on to one.
Friends that say “well at least your kinda a mom now”
Fun:Glaring at the pregnant girl at work. Deciding that her stupid name is going to make her future child a stripper. And laughing out loud at your desk.
Wanting to punch my computer screen when I see pregnancy posts on facebook such as ‘ we had sex it works!’ or ‘who knew it was this easy!’…. from the old school classmate who got pregnant on her honeymoon after her whirlwind romance.
Or ultrasound images posted by my childhood sweetheart on the same day that I find out I have a low ovarian reserve combined with my husbands male factor infertility so no more IVF…..
Hoping that both of their marriages end in divorce …then deleting my fb account as it’s not good for my mental state…
Just found this blog and it is brilliant, more helpful than my infertlity counselling sessions by far!
When your mom tells your husband about the joys of sex.
When I first told my mom about my first cycle monitoring with clomid she turned to my husband and said: “now the fun part begins because this means you can have sex on command”.
When you go get an ultra sound of your ovaries to see how many eggs you have during your IVF cycle and the nurse announces to your hubby “Those chocolate chip cookie looking things are the ovaries and the eggs”. I’m not sure if he will ever eat cookies again
Getting symptoms of pregnancy without ever getting pregnant. After two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, I now sport what’s called “pregnancy mask” which pairs really well with the weight gain. As if not getting pregnant isn’t bad enough, I get to enjoy the crummy side of pregnancy. Yay me!
Hi, wow thank you for an amazing read! i now spend most nights on here rather than analysing my BBT chart or counting the used HPT’s into the bin, I have posted the link to here loads on facebook and even told my mum about this site that has made me smile as i have found people that i can relate to, i have to say im almost jealous of most here though, i dont want to offend but you know you are infertile and will probably need help whereas i have PCOS and most months i ‘fall pregnant’ all the symptoms and even test positive, i go to the GP to confirm and find im not pregnant, no baby, just messed up, in mind body and spirit. I used to cry for days, even weeks, then i found this and now i laugh instead of cry, my mum and i have even named me the f*cked up infertile as i cant even get infertility right! lmao i wish you all lots of love and luck and we will all get there one day, my grandad used to say if you wish for something long enough your wish will come true.x
its the day you find out after double figure losses and 2 years of trying, you are expecting, then 2 days later you start losing due to your messed up body yet you are about to jet off abroad with the entire family so instead of worrying people you ask the dr for some pills to stop the bleed and you talk to your horrid sister in law about what pram she is getting in a few weeks (she was horrid when not pregnant) then for something petty to happen ie not wanting to eat at the same restaurant, 2 years on they have babies and you have more losses but to this day you still havent spoken as YOU’RE selfish, they still dont know i lost a baby that holiday…the holiday i made about her and her unborn baby. (((
Why do they make the packages for home ovulation and pregnancy tests so hard to open? I have a full bladder, I need to pee NOW! I don’t have time to fiddle with a finicky wrapper.
This wont apply to everyone but we teacher EFL (English has a foreign language) in Korea and two days after mother day comes Teacher Day here.
This year I got a nice bouquet of carnations, the standard TD gift but I also got the standard misuse of English. I thought I had survived Mother’s Day just to get a nice bouquet of flower in a beautiful basket that says “Mother is another word for Love” two days later!
Thanks EFL Country for **not** letting me scoot on by this Mother Day unscathed. Of course the kids didnt know better nor my struggles but I just had to laugh and say “My the universe just hates me!”
Your friend can’t stop talking about how many pounds she has gained, about how fat she looks, and how nothing fits anymore. Not feeling any sympathy for her, you either 1) tell her to shut her face up or 2) completely agree with her and make comments like “yea you are getting fat, how are you ever going to lose all of that weight after you give birth?”
If I hear well-meaning people tell me, “Just keep trying” and/or “Don’t try so hard,” I am going to kill them. Which is it? (Insert cheerful grin): “Well, keep trying!” (yeah, we’ve tried for how many cycles? I’ve lost count). Or, with a concerned look on your face: “Relax! Don’t try so hard.” I want to say “(insert expletive 4 letter word here) YOU.”
It’s my birthday, 26 today, another year of not being pregnant gone, whoosh, just like that, menopause will be here before I know it but hey at least then I won’t get my.hopes up every month, actually yeah I probably will. Awesome! Happy birthday to me! X
I had to go to Babies R Us the other day (painful enough in itself), to shop for my bridezilla cousin who got pregant 8 effin months after her honeymoon and who registered for a momzilla load of expensive designer babythings. Without a lie, on the way to the store, I saw a sign that said Endo Boulevard. It made me laugh when I felt like crying.
When [insert name of person here] brags about how her baby (she obviously got knocked up on the wedding night) rolled over for the first time. You quickly respond, “hey our new puppy just learned how to do that too! What similarities!”
Infertility pick up lines, because despite our exhausted sad faces and our extra twenty pounds men still approach us.
“How about I be your transvaginal wand?”
“Everyone else has already seen your lady parts, what’s one more person?”
“Your husband has a low sperm count, use me instead.”
“You don’t need him, I can stick that needle in your ass.”
sorry – typo! meant Estradiol
Sorry – typo! Meant raise your Estradiol level.
Dang, why did my email show up? Naiomi, is it possible to delete the previous post? Thanks, i’m a dummy!
Does anyone else find yourself staring at other people’s children? Sometimes I find myself zeroing in on a chubby baby or an active toddler and zoning out, wishing for my own, fantasizing. I always snap out of it grateful that the Mommy or Daddy present isn’t snatching their kid up and hauling rear away from the crazy staring lady..
Bosom buddies!
I had a funny experience when bringing the sperm sample into the doctor’s office for our first IUI. It was a Saturday morning and I was waiting for the doctor to come and unlock the office. Another woman was there as well but we didn’t really talk about why we were both there. Once the doctor arrived and we all walked in she said, “o.k. ladies hand ‘em over” and at the same time the other women and I pulled our little test tubes full of active sperm out from shirts (where we had the test tubes snuggled between our breasts). We looked at each other and laughed. It was quite a funny scene to be part of!
When your SO asks you if you “took a shot”, he isn’t worried about your tequila habit!
You know your phlebotomist by name… Hey Sue, how did the roses do in the storm last night?
You become superstitious about everything, including all the weird food that is supposed to make you magically pregnant, like pineapple core, flax meal and ice cream.
When you hear someone’s plan to “wait a few months and then have a baby in the summer” you laugh your head off.
You’re annoyed that you were so hellbent on using a condom with your college boyfriend.
You walk into the exam room and say “I’ve emptied my bladder and I’m not allergic to latex”. Hot.
Your Halloween plans don’t involve dressing up as a slutty _____, nor do they involve shepherding children down the street. Instead, you’re looking into perhaps a Vegas weekend or a getaway to a town with no children allowed.
You choose your spring break hotel based on the LACK of children’s activities.
Your husband makes helpful observations about your cervical mucus (ewwww).
When you have track marks on your arms from all the blood being drawn during IVF and IUI cycles.
OR
The fact that you know that the small tank that the cryobanks use to ship sperm fits in a regular rolling suitcase. It makes it slightly less obvious when you walk into the doctor’s office with it but really only slightly.
How about when you attend a wedding and wonder how quickly the newleyweds will become pregnant and think ‘they better not have a child before us’. He He
You consider purchasing a different brand of pregnancy test because the one you’ve been using doesn’t work right.
I actually had this thought the other day and it made me literally LOL. It’s maybe not a new one, but had to share.
Michelle Dugger, at the age of 45, is expecting her 20th child. If that isnt a reason for a bitter laugh, i dont know what is.
Rooni – my sentiments exactly!! What kills me is that her husband said he “didn’t know how it happened”! Uggg
I cried over something little my MIL said to me this weekend and I was excited to be crying because I thought maybe I was emotional because I could be pregnant!
I was at an apt and my husband happened to be with while doing the ultrasound…. I burst into tears when I saw him starring at my vagina with the doctor….really?? Could he at least have been looking at the ultrasound screen? Sometimes it’s really hard to feel like a woman, but then I remember that I am because a man could never do what us infertile women do- nor would they have the patience for it!
I have pcos, and I’ll never forget one of my ultrasounds, the doctor tried to make my ovaries sound pretty, he said, “well your ovaries look like a beautiful pearl necklace.” I replied, “well isn’t that lovely” (sigh)
I always get excited when I know more than a doctor I’m seeing, or when a friend asks me a question about her period or something strange going on, and I always have the answer! I sometimes feel like i could be a doctor or write a book. I told my husband this one evening, he replied, “and that’s something that you are excited about?” haha…yeah i guess, just trying to look at the bright side!
Hi ladies!
I stumbled upon this Youtube link, “My Aunt Jane Knows MOre than My RE.” It puts all the stupid advice we’ve been told into this folksy-sounding song. It made me laugh and then it made me cry. I’m pasting it here. Hope you like it. Hugs as always to you.
Pregnant women are stalking me at the mall! It’s making it hard to focus on my Christmas shopping.
thought you guys might like this!
http://lumalovegettingpregnant.com/infographic/
When you purposely dont have sex when you’re ovulating just to see if the b6 you took will actually work to lengthen your luteal phase so you dont go POAS crazy if your period is one day later than usual… :/
You actually start having doubts if you and your husband are doing “it” right…
Because you can celebrate the new year by making paper chains out of your lab strip ovulation and pregnancy tests. Because you coo at baby new year pictures. Because your new year’s resolution is to be pregnant in the next year (same as last year’s resolution).
2 IUI’s and all I got was this lousy cervical polyp!
Because you think we should legislate against smug Baby on Board car stickers. They are pointless and they always appear when you least need a slap in the face about the fact you are childless. Why do parents deserve special status on the roads anyway? They may have had intercourse 9 months ago but I bet you they won’t have had as much or as frequent intercourse as your average TTC couple in any given month……..
Because even males are giving birth these days!
http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/male-mother-sex-change-man-gives-birth-20120213-1t075.html
At least our kids won’t go to school with snook’s, Jessica simpson’s or nick lachey’s kids! This would be a good reason
I think Facebook is just for pregnancy posts!
When your ttc buddy and you laugh over things you will never tell your future children.. such as You would not believe the amount of times your dad and I did the BD to have you… or I already spent your entire allowance on fertility treatments.
The Oh so Famous Reasons: “Why Don’t You Have Kids?” and “Don’t You Want To Have Kids?”
Really, really.. These are always women or teenagers who take their Fertility for granted and just assume EVERY woman can get pregnant. Well I got news for ya, Its not that simple or easy for some of Us.
Now if you will excuse me I will go back to drinking my Womb Toner Tea and Glaring at episodes of 16 and Pregnant
You REFUSE to buy any new clothes … even though the fertility meds have caused some MAJOR weight gain and nothing really fits anymore. And you’re looking forward to getting pregnant, not just for the obvious reasons, but because you get a whole new rockin’ wardrobe. And maternity jeans don’t have buttons or zippers.
I just found your blog, it is awesome!
Because Christmas morning you get your period if you been bad. This is what happened to me last christmas after my first iui done in dec. cruel joke if you ask me.
Because i got my period the day my little sister has her babyshower (I guess it makes sense since this is my second iui, my first one was in december, got my period x’mas mornig)…
when your husband decides to do the washing and puts the new red bed sheets ( which he bought) in the machine with all your white towels. So now ALL your bath towels have pink and red streaks on them
Not as Fun: Raising your nephew, while your sister-in-law is in jail/an addict. Trying to make everything in your life as natural and womb friendly as possible. She however does LOTS of drugs, she is now pregnant with #3 while your body can’t hold on to one.
Friends that say “well at least your kinda a mom now”
Fun:Glaring at the pregnant girl at work. Deciding that her stupid name is going to make her future child a stripper. And laughing out loud at your desk.
Wanting to punch my computer screen when I see pregnancy posts on facebook such as ‘ we had sex it works!’ or ‘who knew it was this easy!’…. from the old school classmate who got pregnant on her honeymoon after her whirlwind romance.
…then deleting my fb account as it’s not good for my mental state…
Or ultrasound images posted by my childhood sweetheart on the same day that I find out I have a low ovarian reserve combined with my husbands male factor infertility so no more IVF…..
Hoping that both of their marriages end in divorce
Just found this blog and it is brilliant, more helpful than my infertlity counselling sessions by far!
I am even getting jealous of my friend’s horse that is pregnant. She posted the mare’s photo on Facebook… “The foal will arrive any day now!”
Reason to laugh/feel awkward:
When your mom tells your husband about the joys of sex.
When I first told my mom about my first cycle monitoring with clomid she turned to my husband and said: “now the fun part begins because this means you can have sex on command”.
. . . thanks mom.
When your period comes so you call to get your next round of clomid and the nurse ask if you had a negative pregnancy test.
When you go get an ultra sound of your ovaries to see how many eggs you have during your IVF cycle and the nurse announces to your hubby “Those chocolate chip cookie looking things are the ovaries and the eggs”. I’m not sure if he will ever eat cookies again
When you wear easy tear off track pants to your doctors visits for the 10 times you will be asked to undress.
Getting symptoms of pregnancy without ever getting pregnant. After two unsuccessful rounds of IVF, I now sport what’s called “pregnancy mask” which pairs really well with the weight gain. As if not getting pregnant isn’t bad enough, I get to enjoy the crummy side of pregnancy. Yay me!
Hi, wow thank you for an amazing read! i now spend most nights on here rather than analysing my BBT chart or counting the used HPT’s into the bin, I have posted the link to here loads on facebook and even told my mum about this site that has made me smile as i have found people that i can relate to, i have to say im almost jealous of most here though, i dont want to offend but you know you are infertile and will probably need help whereas i have PCOS and most months i ‘fall pregnant’ all the symptoms and even test positive, i go to the GP to confirm and find im not pregnant, no baby, just messed up, in mind body and spirit. I used to cry for days, even weeks, then i found this and now i laugh instead of cry, my mum and i have even named me the f*cked up infertile as i cant even get infertility right! lmao i wish you all lots of love and luck and we will all get there one day, my grandad used to say if you wish for something long enough your wish will come true.x
its the day you find out after double figure losses and 2 years of trying, you are expecting, then 2 days later you start losing due to your messed up body yet you are about to jet off abroad with the entire family so instead of worrying people you ask the dr for some pills to stop the bleed and you talk to your horrid sister in law about what pram she is getting in a few weeks (she was horrid when not pregnant) then for something petty to happen ie not wanting to eat at the same restaurant, 2 years on they have babies and you have more losses but to this day you still havent spoken as YOU’RE selfish, they still dont know i lost a baby that holiday…the holiday i made about her and her unborn baby.
(((
Why do they make the packages for home ovulation and pregnancy tests so hard to open? I have a full bladder, I need to pee NOW! I don’t have time to fiddle with a finicky wrapper.
This wont apply to everyone but we teacher EFL (English has a foreign language) in Korea and two days after mother day comes Teacher Day here.
This year I got a nice bouquet of carnations, the standard TD gift but I also got the standard misuse of English. I thought I had survived Mother’s Day just to get a nice bouquet of flower in a beautiful basket that says “Mother is another word for Love” two days later!
Thanks EFL Country for **not** letting me scoot on by this Mother Day unscathed. Of course the kids didnt know better nor my struggles but I just had to laugh and say “My the universe just hates me!”
Your friend can’t stop talking about how many pounds she has gained, about how fat she looks, and how nothing fits anymore. Not feeling any sympathy for her, you either 1) tell her to shut her face up or 2) completely agree with her and make comments like “yea you are getting fat, how are you ever going to lose all of that weight after you give birth?”
If I hear well-meaning people tell me, “Just keep trying” and/or “Don’t try so hard,” I am going to kill them. Which is it? (Insert cheerful grin): “Well, keep trying!” (yeah, we’ve tried for how many cycles? I’ve lost count). Or, with a concerned look on your face: “Relax! Don’t try so hard.” I want to say “(insert expletive 4 letter word here) YOU.”
It’s my birthday, 26 today, another year of not being pregnant gone, whoosh, just like that, menopause will be here before I know it but hey at least then I won’t get my.hopes up every month, actually yeah I probably will. Awesome! Happy birthday to me! X
a reason to laugh…
you try not to drink too much water just so you won’t have to pee too often and therefore not see the stained TP.
I had to go to Babies R Us the other day (painful enough in itself), to shop for my bridezilla cousin who got pregant 8 effin months after her honeymoon and who registered for a momzilla load of expensive designer babythings. Without a lie, on the way to the store, I saw a sign that said Endo Boulevard. It made me laugh when I felt like crying.
You pass through the women’s center in a hospital and seriously consider popping the pink and blue congratulation balloons.
When [insert name of person here] brags about how her baby (she obviously got knocked up on the wedding night) rolled over for the first time. You quickly respond, “hey our new puppy just learned how to do that too! What similarities!”
Infertility pick up lines, because despite our exhausted sad faces and our extra twenty pounds men still approach us.
“How about I be your transvaginal wand?”
“Everyone else has already seen your lady parts, what’s one more person?”
“Your husband has a low sperm count, use me instead.”
“You don’t need him, I can stick that needle in your ass.”