You have a heightened pregnancy radar.
To everyone else, it was a normal Sunday night dinner with the family. But then your sister/sister-in-law passed on eating the deli and it sent off alarm bells to your pregnancy-dar.
You immediately thought – OMG. Is she pregnant? AGAIN? Since then, you have put on your pregnancy detective hat and you watch her like a hawk.
- Sunday: SIL refuses to eat deli. She is also eating a second pickle. Suspicious.
- Thursday: SIL is drinking Coke. She rarely drinks Coke. Maybe she has a mysterious upset stomach.
- Sunday: SIL accepts a glass of wine. Is she trying to throw you off? You notice that her glass is still full by the end of the meal.
- Tuesday: SIL orders vegetarian sushi and a decaf tea. Interesting…
Now the hard part comes. If she is pregnant, you figure that it will be a few more weeks until she makes the big announcement. So now you’re obsessively watching her for fertile clues and dreading excitedly awaiting the news. You have also made the mistake of telling your husband/partner of your suspicions. He thinks you’re crazy because (a) SIL already has a one year old and how could she get pregnant while breastfeeding and (2) Isn’t a pregnancy announcement really great news?
Bah.
What you’re supposed to think: Wow. SIL could be pregnant again! That is wonderful news and I love my niece/nephew (which is true).
What you actually think: But she has a one year old and she is breastfeeding. Isn’t that supposed to be built-in birth control? I bet they had sex like one time and got pregnant. They can get engaged, get married and have a bunch of children in the time it will take us to have just one baby.
What the fertile!
Gotta love pregdar, most likely a God-given intuition to allow us time to mentally prepare for the coming announcement but instead it just gives us a few extra weeks to obsess.
My pregdar is off the charts, and only strenghtened by the fact that IT’S NEVER BEEN WRONG. I think of it as a defense mechanism that keeps me from being blindsided by painful pregnancy announcements.
Great post! I needed it tonight because I have been really feeling down in the dumps this last week about our fertility status. I have a pretty accurate preg-dar too. Last spring, a coworker was eating lunch in the faculty room and I noticed that she was pretty much eating from all the food groups-all very healthy stuff. I basically cornered her and asked if she was pregnant. She was, of course…and she was also baffled as to how I knew. I said it was because of how healthy she was eating-and that people didn’t usually strive to eat from every major food group in one meal, ordinarily.
So is preg-dar a blessing or a curse? That is the question. Is it better to just get through the announcement and be done with it? Or is it better to have an inkling prior so that you can think/ruminate/obsess/cry about it? Hmmmm….not sure….
Thanks for this…my sister is actually pregnant right now. Oh did I mention she was not even trying/on the pill and her baby daddy is her boyfriend of 7 months. But I’m not bitter…nope no bitterness here.
My pregdar is broken and I think of everyone as pregnant until proven otherwise, in that way I´ll be prepared at all times. I´m allso big smile every time someone eats or drinks things they shouldn´t when pregnant.
I totally agree with this!! But I think I have a “fertility-radar”!!! Anytime I see someone with twins, I think “I bet they did IVF!” As if they could have not possibly had twins on their own. Thanks for another great post. If anyone would like to hear encouraging IVF Success stories, please visit http://www.ivfsuccessstories.info
%#@$% Michelle Duggar is pregnant with her 20th child. Really. Really? How is it so easy for some people? And how is it that I am jealous of a 45 year old’s fertility? Ugh.
Yup, Michelle Duggar is reminding us how INFERTILE we are…oh, and I never use the pregnancy-dar…my husband’s SIL had already told everyone her BFP (not even 4 weeks yet!) before I even had the chance to use it….:(
And…it was 9 months after her marriage that she got knocked up…
I love the new WTF – what the fertile!!
Is the whole thing about it being harder to get pregnant after 35 a myth they tell infertiles to make us more stressed????
Michelle Duggar is WAYYYY past the so called ‘best before’ date!
I learned that my first IVF was a BFN the same day that Michelle Duggar announces her 20th pregnancy. Where is the friggin justice?
UGH!! Don’t even get me started on the Duggers…..
Oh. My. Gosh. I just found this blog for the first time tonight and I am dying laughing. This is just what I needed. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
My insensitive SIL texts my DH to announce she’s expecting her 3rd. Not to mention she knows we’re struggling!! Insensitive cow! Never mind that they have nearly 2 yr. old twins they can barely afford on one income and food stamps. So unfair.
My SIL has been texting me to schedule a time for us to have a “chat” and all I can think is that she’s pregnant. Our relationship is complicated, but I would be really happy for her if she is…I just had my 31st month of BFNs and I WANT TO BE PREGNANT TOO!!!
Is it bad that I want to de-friend anyone that puts their damn sonograms on their profiles?
Kendra…Oh man….before having my daughter, every time a friend wanted to “meet” to “chat”, I was always convinced they were pregnant. I dreaded making those “dates”. Actually, for me, I’d rather a friend or family member tell me over the phone so that I could be happy for them but wouldn’t to contain my tears for a super long time. Instead, I could hang up with them and lick my wounds….
I know all abt the “chats” … I’ll never forget 1 that I had with a colleague who happily told me that one month prior she and her hubby had decided they were ready for a baby, and 1 month later – PREGGERS! – I didnt even know that was possible…lol… Sometimes you just have to laff (before or after you cry
Thank you for spending some time to talk about this, I’m strongly about it and love learning read more about this topic.
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