You’re walking down the street and a mother is pushing a stroller with twins. Some normal people would think “Awww.. twins. Isn’t that cute?” You automatically think “Do they look identical? I wonder if she did fertility.”
Somewhere along the way, you have become the fertility twin spy.
Your mom’s friend’s daughter, Julie, just had twins and you’ve turned into the fertility “are-they-IVF-twins” spy. “She says Julie didn’t do any fertility treatments,” Your mother gossips to you. But the twins are a boy and a girl so you automatically assume that Julie is a big fat fertile liar. Of course, you have no proof though. Logically, it’s possible that someone could have fraternal twins without fertility treatments but the infertile mind is never logical.
The same goes with FertileBook Facebook. Your “friend,” Millie, who you met once at a party 10 years ago, just gave birth to twins. You scan her “Introducing Baby Roz and Toz” Photo Album, seeing if those babies look anything alike. And for some reason, the twins always seem to be different genders so you can never prove your theory.
And sometimes you think back to your own cousin, Susie, who has identical teenage daughters. Did she do fertility back then? But the twins are identical so it throws you off a bit.
The infertile mind is not logical. Don’t mess with an infertile.
(Hey, If you have a great fertility product and would like to discount it for our Fertility Discounts Page, please contact me!)
I have an aunt to whom I haven’t spoken since the early 90s. I used to think her fraternal twin boys were a sign that twins ran in our family. Now? All I can think about is that she would have been in her late 30s when she had them and I wonder if it was by IUI or IVF.
I love it coz that is SOOOOO me now!! I’m constantly checking out twins and trying to figure out a polite way to ask whether they were freezerbabies … lol … An Infertile would probably confide, but not a Fertile. I can just hear the Fertiles indignant response now: “I would NEVER do IVF – I would have adopted! Like Shania Twain, I do not struggle with infertility!!”
… On another note, I watched an episode of Pregnant in Heels, and Rosie Pope miraculously got pregnant NATURALLY right BEFORE an IVF cycle. I’m embarassed to say I actually got mad with her for not continuing to educate the general public about how devastating infertility is, and for making it look so easy to just ‘get pregnant during IVF’ … 1 round of IVF, 1 varicocele surgery, $25K poorer, no pregnancy & planning for rounds 2 and (probably) 3 during the Summer, I would love to miraculously get pregnant, however, I don’t think our recent varicocele surgery will increase dhs sperm count & quality to the necessary thresholds. With our luck, we probably wont even have any embies to put on ice (IVF #1 had 13 eggs, only 2 fertilised, 0 implanted. Back to sq 1)
BTW, Congratulations Naomi – SOOOOO happy for you!!
Cheers to varicocele surgery! After a few years, you can still see my hubby’s scar in his nether region. It never improved his count though. Poor guy. Thank you for your congratulations. We failed our first 3 IVF cycles (extremely well) and somehow had success on our 4th. I am almost 39 weeks now (I’ll pause if anyone wants to get secretly jealous as I am still envious of pregnant women too). Just remember that this is always a blog about infertility, humor and finding hope! If my semi-fertile uterus could do it, so can yours! xoxo Naomi
Naomi, you’ve been hiding a pregnancy? How did I miss this? Congratulations!
Congratulations Naomi!!! You are my inspiration! (And a real shoulder to lean on too!)
An acquaintance of mine had triplets (two of them identical) and I’m always told she didn’t do clomi or IVF, which naturally I can’t believe. But obviously she is too embarrassed to admit it….
Naomi – I just want to thank you so much for this website. I found it about 6 months ago during another failed IUI process. I was at a very low/depressed point when I first read your blog. It has helped me so much to find the humor during the whole ordeal. I am a happier person again. I contribute it a lot to reading your 999 blogs and knowing I’m not alone… especially, when I have also decided there is no such thing as natural multiples! Thank you so much!
I always wonder about this too! If not IVF, then the twins must be the result of at least clomid or other fertility drugs. Its hard to believe that the sudden increase in number of twins is totally random.
So glad I’m not the only one who thinks these things
Wow, Naomi, congratulations on your pregnancy!
I do occasionally wonder this with twins, esp. if the mother looks older. I *definitely* always suspect fertility treatments with triplets and more, and I am usually correct. (My husband and I had a debate once about whether a baseball player’s quadruplets were the result of natural conception. When an internet search revealed that the odds of this occurring naturally were around 1 in 729,000, he conceded that I was probably right. LOL)
HAHA I thought the same exact thing when I heard that Buster Posey and his wife are expecting twins..
This post is bang on – in the last year or so I’ve totally become a fertile twin spy!
Mariah Carey! (cough cough) J Lo! (cough) Angelina Jolie? (cough)
hehe. Even my husband gives me a knowing look whenever we are out and see twins.
You always get it right on Naomi
I have a twin sister and have been asked if my mother used fertility treatments (she didn’t). My twinster was also pregnant with twins that she conceived naturally. I am at my wits end trying to conceive just one! But when (if) it happens, I would be ecstatic with one, or ten!
I am loving your website! Thank you so much for the humor – with all there is to be sad about it’s great to smile and laugh whenever we can!!!!!
congrats on your pregnancy Naomi!
I totally agree with this as I now suffer the infertility journey and question whether my Sister in law with twins but not identical were as a result of assisted conception…I know everyone deals with things differently but I hate and despise infertility is such a taboo subject in the real world and if I get twins as a result of IVF I will be flaunting it….Thank god and universe for fertility drugs otherwise many of us would disregard the aspect of becoming parents and its for that very reason people are embarrassed that women continue to deal with struggles of infertility…As if I knew my SIL had twins with Assisted Conception she may have been someone I could talk to about my journey but without knowing Im not ready to share yet and I would love to help someone I know ..well thank god for cyberspace I say
Holy cow…you’re pregnant Naomi? Congrats!!!!! So happy for you!
I have to admit. When I see twins or hear about twins, the first thing that jumps into my head is whether fertility treatments were involved. I just can’t help it…my mind automatically goes there. And then I am stuck between feeling bad for the parents because of all the sleep that I KNOW they aren’t getting, and wanting my own infertility twins…
You’re pregnant?! You made it before you finished the reasons!!!!! Congratulations! H&H 9 months.
I have 6month old twin boys that are the result of clomid. While I never mind talking to someone else who is struggling with infertility (although my husband doesn’t want anyone to know, ever, that we did so I can only do it when he’s not around) it is infuriating when strangers ask, “Oh! Did you take drugs?” (I do now!) or “Are they natural?” (No, they are plastic!) or my favorite “Do they run in your family?” (Not yet, but they will soon!). It’s unfair to ask a stranger to publicly drag out all the painful baggage of fertility, particularly because most of the people asking are just doing it to judge you…. but if the person says something about themselves, I am happy to open up
I’ve been googling a lot on infertility and such, and I’ve lost count how many times I’ve broken down in the toilet.. and today I found this page, and it made me feel so much better to know that there is so many out there who understands. Thanks Naomi!
Ooh. I saw someone pushing an enormous triple buggy the other day and I was dying to ask them, or at least sneakily inspect the babies to see if they were identical. Which is something, given I usually run a mile from babies and mums and conversations about them.
Another of ur reasons fitting on me
)))