May 11

You just love it when relatives or friends ask you when you are going to start trying for a baby. You usually put on a fake smile and answer “we’re not sure” or “hopefully soon,” and hope that someone changes the subject.

But come on, you know what you really want to say – “Well Aunt Selma, we have been trying for a baby for months, nothing seems to be happening and now we are on the waiting list to have IVF so hopefully we can oneday have a baby. We may be childless and infertile for the rest of our lives, for all we know. But thanks for asking.” Do people just forget how difficult it is to conceive?

What was your best response to this question?

24 Responses to “#997 People keep asking you when you are going to have a baby”

  1. junecleaverwouldbeshocked says:

    DH’s grandmother (age 82-ish): When are you two going to start having babies? You’re wasting time!
    DH: Well, Granny, we’re trying…
    Granny: TRY? Back in my day, we didn’t have to TRY!

    *insert eye-rolling and wretching here*

  2. Jenny H. says:

    call me bitter but I actually do answer that way!

  3. Anonymous says:

    hahahaha i answer well you see its not us its my body it has troubble doing what its supposed to, such as geting pregnant and actually caring to term!!!!! you should see the look on their faces then! oh and it gets better if you get louder and louder with ppl around to turn around and stare :)

  4. Anonymous says:

    When people say when are you going to have a baby I just say "I wish it were that easy to just want it and then have it happen". People usually get it.

  5. Anonymous says:

    "It's not that easy for some of us."

  6. Anonymous says:

    "Comeon, ask me something new", if the question is from my husband's relatives I say "l would love to but hubby is not ready yet" – since hubby can handle it better than me –

  7. Couldn'tThinkOfACoolName says:

    I hate the stupid intrusive questions … Interestingly, mine usually come from guys?! WTH – When did guys get so concerned about babies??!… So I usually respond by asking them a similarly personal, instrusive (rude) question, such as “Well, when are you FINALLY gonna get married???” It’s not usually very effective because they dont really get it, but at least it changes the topic to whatever their issue is… I also can’t really hint that we’ve TTC for years because our main problem is hubby’s low sperm count and I know he’s sensitive about it :-(

  8. KateS says:

    I have told nosy randoms that ‘our dog means a lot to us and we don’t want to detract from our time with him so we’re waiting for him to die.’

    That gave me time while they processed to make a quick exit.

    I’ve also told nosy randoms that ‘there are bills in front of parliment that will increase benefits for parents and we’re waiting for them to be passed so it’s just a matter of time.’

    Don’t use this one it generates more questions while they tell you their baby plan for #2 and try to adjust it to work in with the ‘bills’

  9. Anonymous says:

    I wish I had written the ‘well Aunt Selma…’ reply in response to DH’s aunt when she wrote in our xmas card a few years ago ‘why don’t you have a baby?’ Clueless woman.

  10. 7 years and counting says:

    I now tell people we can’t have kids when they ask. I know it makes them uncomfortable but I don’t care any more. Their question has made me uncomfortable why not return the favour?

  11. mommywannabe says:

    My mother in law complained that she wants us to have grandbabies. That is the year I got a picture of my dogs with Santa and gave it to her in a frame that says “My Grandkids”. Sometimes I carry around a picture of my dogs with Santa and when people ask when I will have kids, I show them a picture of my furry babies.

    Other times I respond defensively with “When Hell freezes over or when pigs fly, I haven’t decided yet.”

  12. TrishG says:

    My sister gave me a great one, especially for the little old ladies. When they ask when we are having babies, I simply answer “Don’t have any yet but we are having LOTS of fun trying!” with a big smile on my face. It turns the conversation from a baby to sex, which makes them uncomfortable.

    Now when my MIL asks, I’d like to say “Just to spite you, we’ve decided not to have kids.” Because even though this woman knows I have endometriosis, have had 3 laparoscopies, changed my diet, changed all my health and beauty products (worried about chemicals in them causing reproductive damage), live and breath by my cycle, cry at baby showers or even just when I get inivitations, and haven’t drank in 5 years, she still asks that damn question!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Anonymous says:

    For people I don’t know well, I like to say something like “when we do, I’m sure you’ll be the first one we tell”. It’s sarcastic enough to let them know to stay out of my business.

  14. Pam says:

    “Why do I need kids when I already have a husband?” it usually gets a laugh and it stops the questions.

  15. Jalara says:

    I like to answer with “Why do you ask?” Sometimes it works by showing people they are being nosy. Sometimes they just don’t care and want to be nosy anyway.

  16. Lyndsay says:

    My favorite is when people ask if I have children and when I say no they respond with “Oh” and look at me like I killed somebodies puppy.

  17. Laura says:

    Oh, dear mother-in-law, I’m not yet with child because my vagina is broken and not for lack of practice or doing it wrong. Would you like to watch and critique our carefully timed efforts? I know pointing out my flaws makes you happy.

  18. Laura says:

    My line (which I borrowed from someone else years ago, so can’t claim credit for it, but it works every time) is along the lines of: We’d love a baby, but it isn’t up to us, it is up to God and we’re waiting on His time.

    Stops all the questions!

  19. I like to respond with “I don’t know. We placed the order a while back. They must be out of stock.” or similarly, “Oh, our baby is on back order.”

  20. trisha says:

    I say “Oh, we can’t have children” its true, evil and the shock on their face is worth it.

  21. Destiny says:

    I say, “Oh next year lemme me get my life together first”! lol

  22. Reyna says:

    I’ll just be blunt and say “We found out I am infertile and it may never happen”, to get them to stop asking such personal questions. Normally, they are shocked, an I can tell they feel like jerks but just maybe I’ll have spared the next infertile woman who would have been asked the same thing by them.

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