Aug 23
The Infertile Positive –> Two week wait. Check toilet paper obsessively. Google all pregnancy symptoms. Get all fake pregnancy symptoms. Pee on multiple pregnancy sticks (or avoid them altogether). Take basal temperature, daily. Glare at pregnant bellies. Curse any celebrity that announces a pregnancy. Blood test. Positive? Disbelief. Wait for second beta. Hold breath. Feel nervous. Fearful. Tell no one (or quietly tell your mom). Continue to hold breath.
The Fertile Positive–> Pee on stick. Positive. Tell everyone including the grocery store cashier. Celebrate.
Your infertile positive will come. Just keep believing.
Okay, so I have to ask….. did you get an infertile positive?!?!?!?!
Nope. Not to worry friends, I’m still as infertile as ever! That’s how I imagine an infertile positive. Our positives will come. Keep believing.
I’m sorry you’re still “as infertile as ever” I actually thought you might be preggers too while reading!
Also (at least this is how I assume I’ll be):
Infertile positive: continue to spend money on tests so you can keep testing daily and scrutinize if the line is getting darker while waiting for beta tests.
Fertile positive: spend money on only one pregnancy test for every child you’ve given birth to.
Did anyone else think I’m pregnant and then got jealous? Who wants to admit it??
Note, this is an infertility blog right to the end. So stay and enjoy.
I will admit it! I do wish it were true for you, though. Infertility is for the birds.
I also thought you might be preggers! I check your blog almost everyday (love it!) and it occurred to me recently that you are also going through your own infertility journey, complete with ultrasounds and appointments and procedures and that any day now, something could work!
Shamefully, I will admit that I was a little jealous at the thought. But it is really hard to stay jealous when a fellow infertile becomes pregnant. So I agree with Sherry — I wish you would get an infertile positive!! (But when you do, please continue to blog!)
While I become very jealous (and infuriated) when people simply have good sex and get pregnant, I get really excited when those who have lived in the world of infertility (transvaginal ultrasounds, third day bloodwork, surgeries and must walk around with the cell phone in the pocket on vibrate to be sure not to miss the RE phone call) get pregnant. It’s a nice reassurance that the infertile positive is possible. The infertile club is a lifetime membership–before and after the positive.
So frickin’ true. Most people don’t understand how you can be “a little pregnant”, but once you’re infertile or have had miscarriages… a positive is definitely not the end, but just another trying beginning.
I’ll admit it, Naomi! Sorry it isn’t true, though. I agree with Sherry that “infertility is for the birds”!!!
My first month on infertility drugs was a BFN, but I’m trying to look at the positive side. I get to take next month off because I’ll be traveling for work during “that time of the month” and my husband can’t travel with me. So, that means lots of tropical drinks, no temperature charting and I can have sushi for the next month! Yay!!
OMG I laughed my butt off!! I have a very young cousin who was supposedly “not trying” with her boyfriend of 5 months….
(I knew better)
On Valentine’s day…the day of her positive pregnancy test (before she even missed a period)…her and the boyfriend were TEXTING EVERYONE that they were expecting. Yes, the day of HER + HOME HPT!!! She had 3 weeks before her first dr appointment. And yes, they expected everyone to be HAPPY????
And of course 9 1/2 months later she had a healthy baby boy to bring home to their 1 bedroom apartment while both still in college. (smile and nod….SMILE AND NOD)
Meanwhile, I’m STILL waiting for my BFP…and I am wondering if 12 weeks would be too soon to tell extended family? Even though by then I will have had at least 5 ultrasounds and several betas…since I’m doing IVF.
Infertility is a drag.
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Love your site! Posted something the other day which reminded me of you—http://www.morestrawberry.com/2010/08/all-i-want-to-do-is-make-love-to.html
Totally, what Jendometriosis said about comparing the lines as you wait for betas! I saved like 4 or 5 pee sticks before my first OB appt so I could keep comparing the results.
But you forgot to add: Start spotting 1 week after positive blood test, miscarry another week later, before anyone even knows you were pregnant. Although, I guess that doesn’t really count as a reason to laugh… Ah, the irony of IF!
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So true! I wish I could be so carefree about the process.
This is sadly so true. My one infertile buddy is now pregnant and she is not only not telling people but she’s walking on eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop. How sad that we get that way. Of course, I hope to be in that situation…ER on Friday! Hurdle after hurdle after hurdle….
@MoreStrawberry: Heard this stupid song just a few weeks ago and realized for the first time ever what it is about! Your link (http://www.morestrawberry.com/2010/08/all-i-want-to-do-is-make-love-to.html) really, really made me laugh, thanks so much for that.
The infertile positive scenario is quite funny, but sadly true
but sometimes the difficult process, yields amazingly emotional surprises, no? Thanks for sharing a laugh 
OMG, I can’t believe this is your most recent post. I am current dealing with an infertile positive. I’ve had bloodwork done 2x but just won’t believe it is real until I see the heartbeat. It totally sucks to not live in happy oblivion like those darned fertiles!
(and sorry for announcing a BFP on an infertility blog … bad manners – I swear I will remember what its like if/when this works out well for me)
Oh, you should add another step to the infertile positive … the guilt at leaving all your other IF friends behind, and not being able to be totally happy for yourself because you know they are going to suffer a little from your news.
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Congratulations Lisa!! Better start believing!
)
I just found your blog yesterday and spent my first hour of work laughing so hard I was almost crying. It is my first IVF 2ww and I figure laughing is better than googling every symptom. Thanks for the laughter!
I FINALLY got my infertile BFP and now I’m holding my breath waiting for my second beta tomorrow…my fertile sister-in-law wanted to know why I was making them test me again if I know I’m pregnant already? !!!!!
I’d add just a little bit more. Holding breath while waiting for Beta #2. Taking worry to a whole new level when it still comes back positive because you’re sure it won’t last. Taking an HPT several days later to see if you’re still pregnant. Praying for morning sickness to hit for a little peace of mind. Debating if you should make the big announcement at 12, 13, or 14 weeks or later. Knocking on every available stick of wood within reach to counteract the inevitable jinx for even daring to think it could last to 12, 13, or 14 weeks. Etc.
I wish that the infertile positive was like the normal positive. For then: positive = baby. But for us, we worry about second, third, fourth betas, number of heartbeats, and want ti strangle ppl who , say that they dont want one particular gender. If they have the tragedy of a miscarriage, then they can still have the assurance that within a couple of months (or a couple of months from when theyre ready) they will have a baby. I got a bfp in 2009 then a mc. Two years later, I am STILL trying for baby #1
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Yup, that about sums it up. The fertiles just don’t understand how easy they have it. As with anything in life, some things are just SO blatantly unfair & not correlated with how hard you’ve worked for them or how much you deserve them.