As soon as someone find out you’re dealing with infertility, the bad advice begins…
I know someone who knows someone who got pregnant after adopting their second child.. My friend’s daughter’s friend tried drinking herbs and got pregnant after 7 years…. My dentist’s sister couldn’t conceive and then an Acupuncturist blew in her left eye and poof! She got pregnant!
Suddenly everyone around you has a story about someone who knows someone else who got pregnant after infertility. Your doctor knows this person, your cleaning lady knows, your dentist knows and even your hairdresser knows someone. But oddly, no one ever seems to know this person directly. It’s like an urban legend. “I know someone who knows someone else who heard it on the radio that this couple tried getting pregnant for 8 years, and finally after switching toothpaste, she got pregnant!” Wow. That is a fantastic story for hope! Sarcasm.
Those stories aren’t helpful. Good for those couples who got pregnant but that doesn’t help you get pregnant any quicker. The best thing to do is counteract those stories with your own.
I know someone who knows someone who conceived on Easter and 9 months later, gave birth to chocolate cream-filled eggs. I know someone who got pregnant even though she had no uterus, he had no sperm and they never even had sex. I know someone who tried for 7 years, spent thousand of dollars on fertility treatments, miscarried and then still couldn’t get pregnant. How is that for a heart-warming story?
I know someone who waited each month for her baby to arrive and experienced heartbreak and disappointment when it didn’t. I know someone who tried fertility treatments that didn’t work but had the strength and perseverance to continue, never giving up hope. Maybe that someone is you.
As extremely hard as it is, I am not ready to give up yet. Maybe I will defy the low odds yet again, but in a good way this time!
As much as I also hate those stories, I have to admit that they do give me a bit of hope. They tell me that often, getting pregnant is just kind of a random, odds-defying kind of thing. So it could happen to me just as randomly as those people!
I hate this. The one that I get alot since we had one with IVF once is, “I know someone who had to do IVF *blank number of times*, had a baby, and then they were able to get pregnant on their own after that.” Blah blah blah. I had my kid by IVF 3 years ago, and haven’t been able to get close to pregnant since then. Your story doesn’t help me. It only makes me sit back and wonder, why not us???
I agree with Ceejay: yup, stories from others can be rough, but to me: how very kind for thinking of you, for trying to give hope to the otherwise (ugh) hopeless. Who knows, who knows. Of course, the green eyed monster is usually what surfaces whenever I hear a success story. I’m so naughty.
i hate hearing these stories too. because i get my hopes up for nothing. i’m doing this same thing now! heard a story that a couple conceived 6 years after his testicular cancer. my husband had TC 5 years ago, it will 6 this fall. and we are holding out until that anniversary before making the IVF jump. but i am sure we will be disappointed this fall.
just like we’re all not the same. neither are our fertility capabilities.
LMAO at the changing toothpaste line!!!
Once again you’ve managed to having me laughing hysterically at the start and crying by the end!
LMAO at the changing toothpaste line!!!
Once again you’ve managed to having me laughing hysterically at the start and crying by the end!
I love this post! Laughing…… and then crying.
That someone is me.
I love this blog so much. Especially this post. Even though my husband and I gave up last year and we’re waiting to adopt right now, people STILL tell me those stories. Last night, someone told me “a friend of a friend is a GYN nurse and she said for both the husband and wife to take mucinex for 6 days straight. works every time.” ha ha. But the one I hear the most is “well, now that you’re adopting, you’ll get pregnant for sure.” doubt it. but thanks anyway.
I just had surgery for endometriosis. I have heard so many stories of people who got pregnant the next month. They gave me such hope. Well it wasn’t true for us. We had our 5th failed IUI… no positive pregnancy test for me.
I loved the acupuncturist line…it made me lol so hard! I have an acupuncturist and next time I go I’m totally going to ask her to blow in my left eye…
i heard, “i know someone who got pregnant after adopting” SO many times. sure you do.
So far my favorites are “try douching with vinegar” from my SIL, and “Ozone therapy got me pregnant!” Ummmm… I’ll get right on that.
These things never help.
I must say that I do actually know someone personally who was battling infertility and decided to adopt. She literally bought a pregnancy test while they were in China and that is where she found out she was pregnant (they still also went through with the adoption).
Of course while I do have a true story of that happening…. it doesn’t make ME feel any better lol
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