“I know you want a grandchild, Mrs. MILF. I’ve been having daily sex with your son for the past two years and nothing has worked. Hopefully, I’ll get pregnant when your precious little boy improves the low motility of his sperm count.”
Your MIL wants to be a grandmother. You know because she has told you 50 times, mentioned it to her friends and sadly looks at your belly each time she sees you. If she knows about your infertility struggles, she will give you advice on how to eat to conceive, rip out newspaper fertility articles and then tell you everything you’re doing wrong. Maybe she forces you to drink some fertility concoction made from a pinch of Folic Acid, a splash of cervical mucus, and a twist of pineapple. Drink up. Everyone knows her drink will get you pregnant. Then there’s the awkward silent “why aren’t I a grandmother?” pause at the dinner table. You know she wants to ask but then she doesn’t and just stares at your belly. Instead, you feel her disapproving glare as she tells you that so-and-so just had a new granddaughter. It’s her third grandchild and she doesn’t even have one! That’s so nice MIL. Your potential grandchildren are floating in a petri dish right now or are somewhere frozen in a freezer. Why don’t you brag about that to your friends! You could have 17-25 grandchildren in a petri dish while your friend only has 3.
My MIL is just the worst. We had troubles before I started TTC and now she bugs me all the time. She thinks it's my fault. I wish I could have a mother who suported me. Infertility is hard.
HAHAHAHAHAH!!! Love it!!!
haaha, I am sure my MIL would LOVE the 25 grandchildren
This is the very reason that we told my MIL that our issue was her son's low motility. I wanted her to shut the f up about "once you're pregnant, you won't be able to ________" or "am I a grandma yet?" at the end of each email.
I laughed out loud at this one because it is completely my MIL. The only thing is that now that we moved away, she cries because she won't get to have a relationship with her grandchild. You know…the one we don't have yet.
Yep, this past weekend my MIL was all about showing me pictures of a random cousin's brand new baby. blah.
And while MIL is staring at my belly I make sure to have a great big slurp of my wine!
It's my poor hubby who has this MIL!
Where was your blog 2 years ago!!! I went through fertility treatments with our 2nd son and your blog could of brought me some laughter during all my TTCing madness in between pills, injections, and tears. We are thinking about TTCing again and I am terrified. I am going to follow your blog
Dear MIL – I accidentally flushed your grandchild down the toilet right after sex. Maybe next time.
Love, Your Infertile DIL
This is why I started a mandatory Valium & Zoloft drugging of MIL policy in my house. Here, MIL, would you like another cupcake?
lololol! I have an MIL just like this…she finally got one grandchild out of me who is just 4 months old and she's already talking about #2…they're never satisfied!
…came by from Busted Plumbing…congrats on your Kreativ Blogger award
Try having a Chinese MIL some time. You have no idea the crap she has tried to make me drink in the last year. I actually killed a plant once by dumping one of her concoctions in there when she turned her head. My husband gave me one of those "I cannot believe you just did that" looks. 2 days later the plant was toast.
How about this for a response: "we are waiting until you are less annoying or die before we have kids. We want jnr to be raised in a loving warm environment and you are currently contrary to that"
Love it, love it, love it. How is it that you can read my thoughts. All so very true.
My MIL does the exact same thing. Keeps bugging us about how she will just never get to see our kids. And always talking about how marriages that dont have kids dont last. God!! I wish she would get down on her knees and apologize to me for all the torture that she has put me through for the last couple of years.
But love the post!! Thanks! it has finally made me see the funny spin on infertility.
Love it! My MIL looked at me and asked what my problem was as if it was me. I didn’t have the heart to say well your son has some funny shaped buggers and they don’t seem to want to find or penetrate my egg so why don’t you go and blame someone else already!
My Mil is awful. she has been applying for awhile now that we need to have grandkids for her. She already has a grandchild, and two other kids of her own under ten.
We don’t want kids, and she really doesn’t get the idea that if we have kids or not does not really effect her.