When most women get pregnant, the couple spends the next nine months trying to think of a suitable namefor their child.
Great news! You are not like most women.
The infertile woman has already chosen her child’s name long before she tried to conceive and during the many long months following. You had a lot time to think about baby names and who you wanted to name your child after. At times, you were convinced that girl baby, Mindy-Sue, and boy baby, Chuckie-Juan, were the perfect names but later questioned them should twins or triplets be in your future. You have spent hours asking your husband if he likes the name ‘Mack’ or if he would interested in having a daughter named ‘Clomid.’ Either way, you know your future children’s names.
But what if someone steals your names?
You’ve been trying to conceive the longest which should mean that no one should have the right to take your names. You picked them out long before your BFF even started trying! Stealing is against the law and should not be taken lightly. A lawyer would advise you to send out a written document (perhaps in email format) to all fertile friends and family indicating your confirmed or potential name choices. Please inform them that these names are now off limits for any future children but you will consider special circumstances, if asked prior to delivery. If the couple conceives on the first try, all names must be forwarded to you for approval. You have the right to dismiss any names at any time or any reason.
This written agreement will, most likely, hold up in a court of law.
Guilty. And I have had 3 friends who have lapped me in the race and have taken the only male names that my husband and I agreed on. So we have a female name picked out and no male name. *sigh*
Agh! I was just thinking of this! 2 friends had baby boys this past week, and I just kept praying, "please don't pick MY name!" Fortunately neither did, but yes, it's soooo awful to have to think about it!
i have finally decided they can go ahead and use the names….if they pick mine, oh well. When my time comes, I am going to go ahead and use it! My hubby and me have earned rights to whatever names we want! Tough luck if someone thinks we are duplicating…. =)
yah i dealt with this, awhile ago. My sis in law chose the name kayden for her son, soon after i told her that i liked kaydence for a girl and i had planned on using that name for as long as i could recall. So since i am an infertile…could i get away with using that name that i cherished for years…hell no! so lesson learned, is that i dont utter a peep about the name untill the child is born- no one except hubbs and i will know the name. that way there is no harm no foul…and if i have a friend that happens to have the same name as my child too bad so sad…cause i have dealt with enough of this infertility crap that i will name my kid whatever i want.
wow i sound mad in this post.lol
its just cause it is so unfair…
♥ ac
Yup. We've named 'em. And I don't care if there's duplicates anywhere in the family.
We've got so many boys named James in the family that duplicating a Paul or two won't confuse anybody.
Ah the name-stealing. I had 2 girls' names and 1 boy's name picked out when I was pregnant the first time (Bethany, Tilly and James). Lo and behold – friends chose Beth and Tilly for their twin girls just a few weeks before I miscarried. And a few months later my cousin chose James for her newborn son.
If I do ever manage to get pregnant and stay that way for 9 months, I don't care, we're naming our baby whatever we please – we deserve it!
I felt the same way. My cousin's wife got pregnant yet she wouldn't tell anyone the name until she gave birth. So I was worried about this the whole nine months. Luckily she didn't pick the name we wanted.
not only have we been ttc the longest but we've also been a couple the longest…we've been discussing baby names for 6 years
As a teacher many names also get crossed off the list if they suddenly remind me of a particularly bratty child…the longer I wait for my baby the more names get eliminated…
OK, Just laughing because my name is Mindy Sue.
I'm dealing with secondary infertility right now for the last 2 years. Pretty funny blog.
I've lost count of how often I've had this happen! Most of them are work colleagues though so I couldn't care less duplicates. One of them even picked the exact first/middle name combo my husband and I first agreed on for a girl back in 2003…
i don’t know why it took me so long to stumble upon your site. it’s awesome!
as for name-thievery, my own sister took the name i’ve had picked out since i was 16. DH and i talked about it after she announced she was using it and we decided that we’re still going to use it. as far as i’m concerned, i had it first! ha ha!
We have been trying for almost 5 years, and it’s official, all of our names have been taken. I just keep secretly keep crossing them off of the list. Ugh!!!!!
Name thievery is a shame a good friend of mine was going to name her daughter Helena after her Grandmother when she was pregnant in 05. Another friend, a few months further alone took the name right from under her nose. But for me, I don’t give a crap, I will use my names even if 16 people take it.
The name I like most is on the top #20 of girls names in the past 5 years, so if I wanted a unique one, that ship has long sailed.