In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW), here are some ‘common’ myths about infertility.
MYTH #1: Your Fertility Clinic will Never Call you Back
It might feel like they will never call you back but eventually your fertility clinic will call. You have left a voice message with your fertility clinic early this morning. You could be calling for any number of reasons including (but not limited to) your pregnancy test results, IVF fertilization report, an inquiry about ovulation or some embarrassing questions about spotting and if it’s normal. “Hi. It’s (blank), calling again. I went for my beta blood test this morning. Please give me a call back with the results.” You called them at 8:30am. 9am, no phone call. 10am, no phone call (10:15am, check to see if phone is working. It is). 11am, no phone call. 11:15am, phone rings and it’s your mother. You quickly hang up on her. As you wait for the call, the phone comes with you into the bathroom and you contemplate calling them again. FOR THE LOVE OF INFERTILITY, WHY WON’T THEY CALL ME BACK? You start thinking that it must be bad news or you would have heard from them sooner. You wait by the phone the entire day until the clinic finally calls you back at 4:59pm. See, they do call back.
MYTH #2 You Will Get Pregnant Before Your Little Sister
False! Even though you got married first, started trying for a baby first and you are 5 years older, your little sister will most likely be pregnant before your uterus can even say “What the Fertile?“ Your sweet little sister, Janie, will likely do one of two things: (1) get married and come back from her honeymoon pregnancy, or (2) announce that her and her boyfriend (of three months) got pregnant accidentally. But not only will she get pregnant first, she will most likely, get pregnant with baby #2 before your next IUI. Congratulations to Janie.
MYTH #3 You Would be Thrilled to Plan your Sister-in-Law’s Baby Shower
OMG! Your sister-in-law, Mindy Sue, is pregnant…again! You found out on Facebook when she posted her 12 week ultrasound photo. Isn’t this like her fifth baby already? She already expects you to plan her baby shower and you would be absolutely thrilled to be the hostess. FALSE. You put on a fake smile and say “of course, I’d love to plan your shower.” Then, you politely run to the bathroom where you spend the next 20 minutes sobbing on the toilet seat. You don’t want to go to her shower, let alone plan it. In actuality, you would rather not attend any baby showers/ first birthday parties or family events where babies and preggos are present. But you will put on that false smile, bake little blue and pink cupcakes and throw Mindy Sue one hell of a baby shower. Just try not to spike the punch.
MYTH #4 You Will Never Be Jealous of a Pregnant Dog
Spotty the dog is pregnant. Belinda the cat is pregnant. Even Trish your goldfish is expecting. Your family couldn’t be more excited so why in the world are you feeling so envious? During infertility, you might will feel jealous when you hear a pregnancy announcement. Even if you feel so happy for your pregnant friend/ sister/ co-worker/ dry cleaner’s daughter, there might be some envy because you wish it were you. But you probably never expected to be envious of your pregnant dog, and you wouldn’t even think about admitting this to someone else! Anyone (who was not infertile) would think you had just gone mad. But feelings of jealousy are completely normal. During infertility, also expect to feel envious of pregnant Barbie dolls, any cartoon movie where the main character gets pregnant, and hearing that a complete stranger on Twitter is pregnant.
MYTH #5 Breaking a Negative Pregnancy Stick in Half Won’t Make you Feel Better
Yes, It will. It also helps to place it on your driveway, get in your car and drive back and forward over that negative pregnancy stick until it no longer resembles a stick.
Wishing everyone a Happy Infertility Awareness Week but heck, isn’t EVERY week Infertility Week?
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For more information about Infertility Awareness Week, please visit RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association.
LMFAO I laughed so hard at Myth #4!!! I have been jealous of my sister’s pregnant dog.
OMG #5!!!! I did not expect that one! Lol
hehehe..so true about the pregnant Barbie doll..I used to be jealous from her back when I was a kid and even to this moment..its like it’s not enough that they make her super pretty but super fertile too?!!..Ugh!..I hate Barbie..lol
Being the older sister whose younger sister is pregnant first has been so hard. I desperately wanted it not to be but… here we are.
And FYI… if you pop those negative tests in the freezer for a minute, they shatter when you throw them and it is SO much more satisfying…
Yes! For me it’s my younger brother, and it feels like he and his wife have been married for 5 minutes.
these are the best Naomi! You never fail to put a smile on my face
# 1. I went at them and told them they scared me when they didn´t call about my frostie before 1 PM. The poor thing on the phone was devestated.. *blush*
I don´t have a younger sister, but all the little girls I used to babysit when I was younger have 2 or 3 kiddos… I don´t think they even are old enough to do those sort of things that can end with a baby :-s
What the Fertile?!
ROTFL!
#2…omg get out of my life because it’s exactly true…6-years-younger SIL got knocked up by a boyfriend she had basically just met. Now they live in total bliss in his house and she doesn’t even have to work anymore!! FML!
Love you Naomi! You rock as always!
#1 is sooooo true, do this at work….wait by and check my cell phone all day making sure I did not ‘miss the call’ as if I would not see it vibrate (silent mode @ work) then go to restroom and dang thing start to vibrate…have contemplated answering it in the public restroom but quickly decide I will have to call back…lol!!
What the Fertilie was hilarious too and #5 was awesome&might have to try it…lol
Efffffff effity eff. Can a single day go by without me hearing of at least one person who is pregnant? I swear the universe is just rubbing this in my face.
Thank you for the laugh! Amen to #3. It seems that I’m planning everyone’s baby shower lately. Lucky me.
So…I just refuse to plan baby showers. Or attend them. Nothin’ like honesty. But number five…didn’t see that one coming. And I love that freezer suggestion. Although in theory I am banned for life from HPTs…
“MYTH #2 You Will Get Pregnant Before Your Little Sister
False! Even though you got married first, started trying for a baby first and you are 5 years older, your little sister will most likely be pregnant before your uterus can even say “What the Fertile?“ Your sweet little sister, Janie, will likely do one of two things: (1) get married and come back from her honeymoon pregnancy, or (2) announce that her and her boyfriend (of three months) got pregnant accidentally. But not only will she get pregnant first, she will most likely, get pregnant with baby #2 before your next IUI. Congratulations to Janie.”
Yep, this one hits just a TAD too close to home. My sister is actually 13 years my junior and about the same time my husband and I started trying she announced her (first) oops pregnancy with her then invisible boyfriend. They were a couple by the time my niece was born. Then at her first checkup after the birth, wouldn’t you know it, oops again! Then she announced, just a couple of weeks after her and her fiancée split, that oops again! I’m ready to shoot myself. At least all the kids are by the same dad and they are back together. I offered to adopt oops #2 but am keeping my mouth shut for oops #3.
Laughing my butt off!!!!
Totally think #4 is hilarious. At one point in time, I had 5 pregnant friends and 2 dogs also pregnant. It totally sucked!!!! And I was envious at how easy it was for the damn dog to get it done!
And I really like the idea of driving over the damn stick until it no longer resembles a stick.
I love this blog. A lot. HI-larious.
Myth #2: OMG…this was a huge fear of mine!
I was paranoid that my sister would get pregnant before me…despite not wanting kids and despite not being married or in a relationship. I told my mom that I could handle a lot, but I didn’t think I could handle that! Thankfully, it never happened.
I told my husband that if his little brother’s useless wife (so not my sister-in-law. She will never deserve that title from me) gets pregnant before I do, all hell will break lose. Thankfully he is currently serving our country in South Korea and she is living with her parents here in the States (instead of getting a job and being a productive citizen).
Same goes for his little sister – the one who can’t wait to move in with her boyfriend after getting out of high school and thinks she can live on a part-time, minimum wage job – if she has a child, I’ll drag CPS into it and get custody of the baby. The only person in our family that should be having kids now is us. (And the parents agree!)
# I Is so painfully true! At my clinic they make all the ‘happy calls’ early in the day, probably because the nurses are really great ppl and want to put off the agony of giving bad news. By IVF #2 I knew that if I didn’t get a call by 3 PM, it wasn’t good.
I’m late to this post; got here via Keiko’s recommendation.
I just wanted to share this jealous-of-pregnant-animals experience. At one of my infertility low points, I was making breakfast. Do you know what made me burst into tears? Cracking an egg for an omelet. I looked at it in the bowl and was hit with a stab of sadness that I was preventing this egg from becoming a baby … a baby chick, mind you. I pretty much knew at that point I had gone round the bend.
#3- Times a million. My drug addicted SIL is due on friday.
# 3…times a BILLION! My drug addicted sister…has had SIX “oops” children..all of whom she has abandoned and I have raised over the past 20 years…her second youngest daughter..age FIFTEEN (my fifteen year old niece!!) is now 14 weeks pregnant with a major oops….and I have to take her to her pre-natal visits and watch her baby dance on ultrasound…while my amazing husband and I have just had our third MC. All while my drug addict overly fertile bitch of a sister goes around telling everyone that I am ‘just jealous” of her because I am “barren”. You have no idea how much I need this blog. >>sigh<<
#4 totally. Our furry babes are fixed, but my fishy ones keep popping out babies left and right (livebearers so they actually give live birth). Always look in to the tank to see new little babies swimming and always get jealous that my frickin fish are so fertile!
I can safely say I have NEVER laughed so hard at a post during my TTC journey! #4, then #5 had me laughing uncontrolably (I had to keep my co-worker from overhearing). Thank you wonderful ladies for having such a healthy solid sense of humor about endless TTC.