When you’re not expecting, you’ll find many books to tell you how to get pregnant. You know which books they are because most of them are currently sitting on your nightstand. Perhaps you’ve read 6 Easy Steps to Increase your Fertility; The IVF Baby; Conquering Infertility in Three Easy Ways; and Taking Charge of your Fertility, to name just a few. Well, you’ve taken charge of your fertility and where the fertile has it gotten you? $20,000 poorer, 20 pounds fatter and over 20 failed cycles.
When it comes to fertility books, you have read them all. It’s like book publishers can sense your infertile desperation and they keep publishing more and more useless useful publications. Some great new titles on your nightstand might include: Male Infertility: How to Help your Partner; The Ultimate PCOS Handbook; 100 Fertility Tips that will get you Pregnant; and of course, the ever realistic book, Making Babies Quick and Easy. You’ve read and re-read these books and you’re still not pregnant. Hell, if reading these fertility book while “doing it” with your partner would get you pregnant, you’d be willing to give it a try.
Here are some more realistic titled fertility books:
What to Expect after you’ve peed on a stick and you’re not sure if you really see a second line or it’s your imagination.
What to Expect when you’ve been waiting all day for the fertility doctor to call you back.
What to Expect after you’ve stared at the toilet paper and thought that you might have seen a red dot.
What to Expect when you’re partner’s sperm count is in the negatives.
What to Expect after you’ve had baby-making sex, not because you wanted to, but because it was ovulation time.
What to Expect when cousin Martha gets pregnant on her first try.
What to Expect when you have way too much PCOS-related facial hair.
What to Expect after you’ve been inseminated by a 20 year old fertility intern named Teresa.
What to Expect when your Facebook friends happily post their ultrasound photos and you want to shoot yourself.
What to Expect after you’ve just eaten a container of ice cream following a BFN.
What to Expect when you’re at a baby shower sobbing in the guest of honor’s bathroom.
What to Expect when you have to give yourself a fertility injection during cousin Emma’s wedding.
What to Expect when you’re mother gives you another newspaper articles about infertility.
What to Expect when you’re completely jealous of all pregnant women but won’t ever admit it.
What to Expect when you feel hopeless and this blog reminds you to never give up HOPE.
Oh yes! This is a book that I would buy! Will you write it maybe?
What to Expect when you feel hopeless and this blog reminds you to never give up HOPE.
Thanks I needed that!
Brilliant
I just posted this on my FB page! Love it! My fav is “What to Expect when your Facebook friends happily post their ultrasound photos and you want to shoot yourself.”
Definitely needed this today! Friend just found out she’s expecting #5! I just want to get to number 1!
Thanks Naomi. just started my red alert days and this is my happy place. I m in the depressed mood right now and this is a lifesaver.
Thanx again Naomi and all of us ladies here, v will get our BFPs some day!
Wow, Thanks Naomi!! So freaking true! Every single one!!
OMGoodness this was AWESOME! Im an infertile woman of 13 years, so this is SO TRUE!
I think one more to add though, is “what to expect when you have had yet another miscarriage” (Ive had 11)
The only (in)fertility book I’ve bought was TCOYF, because I knew I needed a handy reference to brush up on my FAM/NFP. Whereas tips, tricks, miracle cures, untested theories, and success stories all just make me angry. However, I would buy any of the titles you suggested!
Jenna – 11 m/cs…that’s awful. I’m so, so sorry.
Love this one! Made me laugh more than I have in a while!!
I just love it!!!”What to Expect when your Facebook friends happily post their ultrasound photos and you want to shoot yourself.”
and of course
……….never give up HOPE:)
I would read ALL of those books!
I have to link you up on my blog and share this…thank you for the laughs!! I needed them. A friend sent me the link to this site knowing how we have struggled with infertility, and I am going to have go back and read old posts! Thanks!!
So true…
Your blog is great, helps to keep me sane knowing that I’m not the only one to think these things.
Logged on to facebook tonight to see the news that my friend is expecting her 2nd and was feeling like crap but then read your blog and posts above and am now smiling again
What to expect when your mom waits to tell everyone that’s she’s pregnant with her SEVENTH child.. because she thinks you might have some news to share. (and sadly you don’t)
Thanks thanks thanks Naomi
So are these working titles for your future book? ’cause I’m buying your book when you publish one!
Love the FB one! I have resorted to obnoxiously posting pics of my new puppy. I am sure my mommy friends have not made the connection.
Relatively new to this blog, but fell in love immediately with it! No close friends or family members have experienced the “joys” of being reproductively challenged…your blog helps combat the loneliness. And it does so with smiles! Thank you so much!
“What to Expect when you have to give yourself a fertility injection during cousin Emma’s wedding.”…totally had to do this not two weeks ago hahaha!
I love this! so funny!
What to expect when ur mom asks u to call a cousin ur age to congratulte him on his daughters first day at school ;(((