Sep 17
My recent Blog Post, , caused some infertile controversy. Read the comments on my post, and see if you agree. Am I a jealous, bitter infertile or a witty, clever woman (or a little of both)?
My recent Blog Post, , caused some infertile controversy. Read the comments on my post, and see if you agree. Am I a jealous, bitter infertile or a witty, clever woman (or a little of both)?
This is tough because I can see both sides of the issue.
I cannot speak for you, Naomi, but I am sure you have dealt with your fair share of anger. Did your letter come off as angry? I don’t really think so. Do I think your letter as written would be very effective to TLC? I don’t really think so either.
Having read your blog for a few months now, I could read that letter and take it for what it was meant to be: a chance to laugh about a painful issue. People who have a problem with that letter would probably have a problem with this whole blog.
That being said, an actual letter to TLC to promote a show about infertility or to cut down on hyper-fertility programming would probably be more effective if it were a little less sarcastic, while still being funny, to avoid the type of misunderstanding such as happened in the comment threads on the other site.
Finding out you actually sent this letter changed my perspective on the controversy. As a funny blog post, I can dig it. As the actual letter to send, I think it may come across as bitter/angry if you didn’t know the context of your blog and your situation.
Also, while I may not agree with all comments on the blog post, I think the people who attacked the original commenter are more in the wrong than the commenter sharing a maybe unsavory, unflattering opinion.
And that’s my 2 cents – I guess I’ll have to say “a little of both” to your question
Thanks for the blog,
Emily
Hi Emily, Thanks for your comments. I also can see it from both sides as ‘laughing’ about infertility is a difficult thing to do. I definitely don’t laugh about it all the time but I always keep a bit of dark humor (keeps me sane). I appreciate everyone’s comments- whether good or bad- because it gets people talking about infertility. I actually do like some of TLC programs and probably wrote this on an extra moody day! (Note to self- don’t write a blog post after injecting fertility drugs into your stomach).
Just to clarify, I didn’t actually send a letter to TLC. I just tweeted them the link and they responded from that.
Thanks everyone! xoxo Naomi
I loved your comments…because it seems like there are so many shows that glorify fertility and those who are lucky enought to be able to have children (multiples and whatnot.) I can’t even watch those shows, because they make me sick to my stomach. I am so envious.
I do think there needs to be some sort of SOMETHING that shows the struggle that we fertility-challanged women go through.
Naomi, I actually enjoyed reading the debate. Like you, I enjoy when you/we can get people talking about infertility!! Knowing you (well not personally, but your blog) I read the TLC letter as another hilarious lighthearted post about what frustrates us infertiles about the programming these days.
I think anyone reading who DID NOT find the humor in it, was having a REALLY bad day–and/or probably doesn’t yet know your style so to find such a letter ‘making fun’ of those shows just threw them off.
I appreciated the rebuttal of the original commenter, explaining her post. I liked that she said she felt sympathy for your struggle. But she must be one truly serious person to have read your letter and not laughed.
As a fellow infertile, I love that you write and maintain a blog that gives us permission and inspiration to find humor in such an awful situation. IF is not funny, it’s awful and heartbreaking and an experience I wouldn’t wish upon anyone. But with that being said, I believe for the sake of my sanity, there comes a time to find some lightheartedness in a somber situation. Naomi, you remind each of us that we should look on the bright side and that it’s OK to laugh. Being “bitter” or “angry” is a normal way to feel—being humorous and snarky about it is perfectly acceptable.
I always tell my husband to be on the lookout for when my sense of humor is not evident, because those are the times when the bad just seems too bad to manage. So most of the time (thankfully) I can laugh at the situation of infertility. Yeah, it blows, and yeah I’m angry and sad and bitter, but it’s also kind of ridiculous and worthy of laughing at in a lot of ways. Thanks for always reminding us to laugh instead of cry!
I thought your post was great and wasn’t offended at all. Sometimes satire is hard to convey, and people sometimes don’t know how to read it as what it is. It’s very easy to offend people. Don’t worry about it. Some people can’t take a joke.
I say witty and clever. I thought it was funny. Was there some bitterness/anger thrown in? Sure. Infertility tends to elicit these emotions in people who experience it.
Maybe I see it your way because you and I are in the same emotional place and others are not?
I thought it was damn hilarious… and I think that if your intention truly was to draw attention to the issues facing infertile folks, well… you have succeeded. I don’t think the Hollywood types that produce reality TV shows really care whether a message is “laced with anger” or not. I think they care about whether a proposed idea will make them money. And that translates to, “Will people watch a show about infertility? Are they interested in this issue?” Because your post sparked so much attention and debate, clearly the answer is yes. So I think your letter probably did forward your cause, if indeed that was your intention. A polite, boring, formal, kiss-butt letter would have generated few comments and no debate- which would have landed it in the circular file. I would be interested to see their response to you.
My favorite was “I Didn’t Know I Could Be This Dumb.” Still LOL.
I thought the post was funny. It was in parts a joke but there was truth there. Why is there hardly any programs that are focused on infertility? Why is it that when you can’t have a baby a lot of people assume you are selfish for wanting one and should be happy with what you are given? Infertility still is a taboo subject and people don’t want to deal with. These blogs allow us to have a forum to talk about this. Because it hurts so much. If you want to write a post about that women who has 19 kids and counting well so be it – after all it is your right to freedom of speech and I am not religious but surely God can’t be angry at you for being hurt upset scared and confused as to why you can’t have children? Keep posting what you do Naomi. It is a breath of fresh air and hopefully TLC will take you up on your suggestions!!!
I LOVED it! And I definitely think you’re a clever, witty women! It’s just so true! (Although I must confess I enjoy (well that really depends on what time of the month it is) watching these shows) I’m always like ‘HOW did she not know she was pregnant?!?!?’ or I think about befriending Michele Dugger in hopes that some of her baby dust will come my way. I think it would be great if they did more shows that show the reality of infertility, not only the baby shows.
It’s always okay to poke fun at pop culture and the values or lack of values displayed on TV every day. While these shows suck us in they skew perspective and when your trying to manage hope and overly ambitious expectations for IF the pop culture perspective just adds to the confusion. Because of course we want it to be so easy, thought it would be so easy, but it’s not. And that’s very hard to put on TV. But we can still make fun of what’s there! I love your attitude and appreciate the perspective. Thanks!
It was funny. No question about it. Anyone who’s been going through this for sometime will agree. Not to mention, we all know the consequences of infertility drugs and multiple pregnancies so we look at those shows a little differently. I think it’s awesome your posts generate such debates; it’s called awareness.
Oh, my favorite was the commenter who flat out said “infertility isn’t funny.” You’re right, but when I get to the point where more people have stared at my vagina for clinical reasons than for fun, and I’m still nowhere near actually having a baby, I’m going to go with laughter. Or else I’ll just be crying all over the freaking place. Wait, I already do that…
I loved it! I thought it was funny. An frankly true. PPL just need to relax and not take things so seriously, my fiance and I have been TTC for over a year, we don’t have money for all the fertility treatments, so we are trying other methods. Like acupuncture. We did have his sperm tested and its all good there. But I think a lot of it is about relaxing and not stressing. Which I know is hard to do. I was stressing like a mad woman, but I have finally just tried to relax and not obsess cause I realized that the stress I was feeling was effecting my body and in turn could be effecting me getting PG. Not that I’m saying that just relax will work for everyone, it won’t, especially not for those who have serious fertility issues. To those ppl I empathize with you and I wish you luck in your plight!
Naomi, you’re without question clever! I loved the “Dear TLC” blog post and can totally relate! Keep up the good work, it’s always entertaining reading your entries.
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I think the people who commented negatively just don’t get it. I thought it was hilarious. Thanks!
It was a funny and light-hearted post. The people who took it so seriously need to go back and retake the satire lessons in their high school English classes.
I love that you wrote this letter. I have long stopped watching TLC except for “Little People, Big World” (love the Roloffs!) They NEED to get some shows about people going through infertility- the good and the bad. I have often thought of writing them a letter about this very thing. Your letter was hilarious and gave me a much needed laugh.