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Aug 15


You– “Hi (fertile friend). Just calling to say hello.”

“Nice to hear from y— JESSICA, GET OFF THE SOFA!—- How are things with you and—TOMMY, DO YOU HAVE A POOPIE DIAPER AGAIN? — Sorry ’bout that, what were you sayi— ONE MORE SCREAM AND YOU’RE SITTING IN THE CORNER, YOUNG LADY.” 

Remember when you use to call your friend (pre-child) and you could actually have a conversation with her without interruptions? Now, you are reluctant to phone her because you know she will be chatting with both you and her kiddies at the same time. You can’t really blame her.  But you would have liked to talk to your friend without having to listen to her sing a Sesame Street song. It’s hard to chat about your latest fertility treatment when she’s multi-tasking with a baby suckling on her nipples and changing a diaper with her free hand. “Do you want me to call back at a better time? You ask her politely. “Oh no,” She says. “I’m free to chat now–SALLIE-SUE, IF YOU DON’T GET OFF THAT KITCHEN TABLE—…”

Is it impolite if you ask your mommy friend to lock her children in another room?  “Sorry about that,” Mommy friend says. “Now, what were you saying about your lack of cervical mucu—- MARTHA, I’M GOING TO COUNT TO 3 —-”



18 Responses to “#727 Good Luck Phoning your Mommy Friend”

  1. says:

    that is so incredibly true. my friend is brutal about talking to her kids, and she is the one who phoned me!

  2. StolenEggs says:

    It’s not just Moms either! My brother does this to me ALL the time. I’ll never understand why he waits until my SIL is gone and he’s alone with their 3 kids to call me. oy

  3. Heather says:

    Moms do it even while we are chatting!!!!!! WTF?!!

  4. Heather says:

    Online that is!

  5. Tara says:

    I know, it is so annoying, and now that I (an infertile, of course) have adopted my two kids, I am ONE OF THOSE women who interrupt the person on the phone to talk to kids and I feel terrible about it. But unfortunately, the choices are… let your kids destroy your house or hurt themselves or each other… or never talk to your friends. Because by the time your kids are finally asleep, you are too exhausted to call your friends to chat. Unfortunately I have chosen the latter because it is just too embarrassing for me to attempt talking on the phone… and I MISS my friends! Maybe this can be a reason to laugh at infertility… HA HA HA, we can still talk on the phone and go to the movies anytime we want?

  6. Marci says:

    My girlfriend does this with her cats. “This cat’s gonna die.” “What you yowling at.” “Don’t climb on that.” “Where did that cat go?”
    I want to shout back, “They’re not listening to you. Stop talking to them and focus on MEEEEEEE!”

  7. says:

    This is so funny! I was just talking about this with a friend of mine (no children either) last week!! It’s so true.

  8. says:


  9. I'm Broken says:

    Funny!! This is so true!! My friend does this when we meet up for lunch, its always like sorry my hubby is too busy to watch our 5 children so here let me rub it in your face that 1) i have 5 children and 2) i can’t really talk to you because all 5 of my kids are running around and i can’t seem to get them to sit down adn eat their lunch..


  10. says:

    So true (*sigh*) I should start screaming at my ovaries while I’m on the phone with them… maybe they’d get it then? lol

  11. Toni says:

    Wow, you described a conversation with my sister to the T. We haven’t gotten through a full conversation without her scolding, refereeing, consoling, or oohing and awing over one of her three girls in about 6 years. Sometimes I just want to scream “enough already! Listen to me talk about insemination and the thickness of my lining!! It’s important!”

  12. Li says:

    Oh my god this post couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time!!! Just yesterday I called a friend of mine who has a 5 month old baby. She would say “so what’s new at your end?” and then start gurgling and cooing at her baby. After 5 minutes I was sooo irritated, I made an excuse and hung up because I couldn’t take it any more. I do love her a lot, but i was beyond frustrated yesterday. And you made me realize I wasn’t the only infertile being asked to climb off the sofa and given a time out.

  13. Beth says:

    Heh! SO true. I have a male friend who saw me through my infertility issues and pregnancy and now…motherhood. He’s my best friend and we talk on skype every day. He lives in another country so skype is our friend. :)

    He has the patience of a saint. My little baby cries, poops, eats, etc as we are talking about things. I feel awful about it but he’s pretty cool. Thing is, it has taken me so long to get to where I am (motherhood. It was SO difficult to become a mother) that it makes him happy to hear me as a mom. Even if it means multi-tasking with the baby.

    I think what you wrote is hilarious. That will be you some day, too! Trust me. And when it is, you will feel badly about it, too. I know I do.

    On the other hand? I do try to plan my day so that the kiddo doesn’t disrupt others. No one actually wants a crying baby on the bus or to to see me breast feed on a park bench. Not easy but I do try.

    You’ll seeeeeeeeeee when the shoe is on other foot. Trust me. :)

  14. says:

    Or, the only time you do manage to speak to them without their children in the background is when they call to say they are pregnant, again.

  15. says:

    My sister has been guilty of this for years! It even annoys my mother!

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  17. Sinan Ozyol Poops Himself says:

    @Beth–we’re trying to get the shoe on the other foot. Trust me.

  18. says:

    s@%t!!!! thats EXACTLY what it sounds like when i call my sister!!!! she has 2 kids (both conceived while she was on the pill).