You’ve heard this line many times before. Wouldn’t it be just great if we got pregnant at the same time! Yes (sister-in-law, best friend, cousin Martha), it would be fantastic to be pregnant at the same time, and how would you like me to do that again?
As soon as your relative, friend, Facebook acquaintances, co-worker gets pregnant, she suddenly shares her fabulous idea that you should get pregnant at the same time. “It would be so much fun,” She squeals (while rubbing her pregnant belly). “We can take prenatal classes together and go on play dates. You better hurry up!” And it typically doesn’t matter if she knows about your infertility struggles or not. She will somehow say this anyways.
What a SUPER NEAT idea! Yes! Let’s be pregnant together! I will just head right home, take some fertility drugs, stick a transvaginal wand inside of me, remove embryos from my uterus, have a fertility lab technician wash my husband’s sperm, have some timed intercourse and then sit patiently for the next two weeks, waiting for my pregnancy test results.
Your sister-in-law, friend, co-worker and cousin Martha do have a good point. It would have been really nice to be pregnant at the same time. You have thought about this a million times before. You thought about it when dear old SIL was pregnant with baby #1, and then baby #2. You thought about it when your friend Betty-Sue was trying to conceive and got pregnant right away while you were still waiting. And no, you can’t just “hurry up and get pregnant.” If ‘hurry up’ means get pregnant within 3-10 years, you will definitely hurry it up. Next time you’re at the fertility doctor, you’ll nicely inquire if she could hurry up the ovulation, fertilization process. No problem-o!
During infertility, you can also enjoy some of the following lines (that seem to be universal):
- Just relax and it will happen.
- Why are you waiting so long?
- Why don’t you just adopt?
- I know someone (who knows someone) who adopted and then got pregnant.
- Have you tried (insert bad advice from a relative, grandma Mildred, a friend or random stranger)?
- Get drunk!
- Go on vacation and it will just happen.
- When the time is right, it will happen.
- You’re thinking about it too much.
- Stop trying.
You do agree it would be great to be pregnant at the same time as your friend but right now, you would happily settle to get pregnant at any time and any date.
(Check out my NEW celebrity fertility posts at Fertility Authority.com!)
oh man how many times have we had THIS thought?! This post cracked me up!
“What a SUPER NEAT idea! Yes! Let’s be pregnant together! I will just head right home, take some fertility drugs, stick a transvaginal wand inside of me, remove embryos from my uterus, have a fertility lab technician wash my husband’s sperm, have some timed intercourse and then sit patiently for the next two weeks, waiting for my pregnancy test results.”
LOL my fav part!
If I had a dollar for every time a friend said this, I’d be RICH (well, maybe not… I’ve thrown/been to a LOT of fricken baby showers for everyone but myself…).
This is too hilarious and too true. I’ve had about a dozen would-be pregnancy buddies, and they definitely do say it even when they know. My sister who’s known from day one had a different slant on this, she told me I needed to get pregnant right away because she doesn’t want to give her baby furniture to my pregnant SIL. Well, gee now that you put it that way, I’ll just go ahead and make that happen for you…
And the best part? When you ARE pregnant at the same time as a friend, by some miracle, you miscarry, she doesn’t, and you get to watch her go through pregnancy while mourning YOUR baby…
To be fair I’m not infertile, but I’ve been pregnant 3 times and have NO children.
Naomi, you manage to hit all the classic, vintage, old-school, tried-and-true landmarks of the infertility journey. HOW MANY TIMES did I see a girlfriend get pregnant (or, heck, get engaged) and think, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if we were pregnant at the same time?” And then that modified to, “Well, I missed the last one (dozen), but she only got engaged yesterday…maybe I can get pregnant at the same time as SHE does.” And then it just became, “Oh, they just went on their first date…no way I will be pregnant before they have their first kid.” And finally, “Oh, she’s a heterosexual? I don’t want to be introduced to her. Otherwise, eventually I will have to deal with her kids.”
Blech.
I’ve been there, lots of times. But the most recent one really got to me. My husband’s little sister, who was 12 when we started dating, got married in August. Earlier this week we found out thru her Facebook page that they “have Baby Fever and have decided to start a family”. Well whoop-di-do, I’ve had “Baby Fever” for 9 frickin years!
My dear, darling sister thought it would be so much fun that she started trying immediately for baby #4 when she thought my younger sister and I were both trying (not being snide, she admitted this was the reason). Well, needless to say, she got knocked up immediately (did I mention bafore baby #3 was even 1 yet?). Younger sister and I…not so lucky. Younger sister cannot get pregnant until she has a growth removed from her uterus. I cannot get pregnant until I successfully ovulate.
Darling pregnant sister went on to complain endlessly to me about her pregnancy. And if I never see her again it will be too soon.
This is so true…. 8 nieces and nephews later and with each one it would of been so special if we could of been pregnant together;) Now the oldest is 8…… at this rate maybe me and my niece will be pregnant together!
[WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.
So true! My godson was conceived around the time we started trying. He’s now 22 months old & I’m still not pregnant; you do the math.
I think my aunt said every single one of those lines to me yesterday…is it any wonder that I don’t want to talk about our infertility struggles in front of my family!?
This is brilliant. BRILLIANT! Thanks Naomi
I love your blog….always good for a laugh. Thanks for keeping us in good spirits!
Hannah! I hear you! I’m the youngest of 3 sisters and 2 of us have not been successful in the baby department. Our fertile sister knew we were having trouble, and sensitively asked our permission to have a 3rd child. Two weeks after we laughed and told her we didn’t want her to put her life on hold for something we might never get, she announced that she was 1.5 months pregnant! She was already pregnant when we “asked our permission” to reproduce!
My other sister is having her first IUI this month and, I know she’s excited, but could have spared me the “we could all 3 be pregnant together” talk…
I think you are a fake. Why would you say remove some embryos from your uterus and then wash your husband’s sperm.
Any infertile worth her street cred knows that if you have an embryo, a sperm wash would be irrelevent. Because the embryos would alrady have been created.
Duh.
Dear Doodlebug,
Thank you for your lovely comment. Yes, you are so correct. I am absolutely faking infertility and then I decided to write a full blog about it. Yes, that makes perfect sense. I am aware that the sperm is washed first before an IUI or IVF cycle but this is an infertility humor blog and facts aren’t always 100%.
Btw, I’m pretty sure that the average fertile person wouldn’t even know about a sperm washing to begin with. -Infertile Naomi
Doodlebug, I can assure you our friend, Naomi, is not a fake. She has been through 2 IUIs and 4 IVFs which I believe qualifies her as an awesome infertile expert. Have you even read her other blog postings?
I think you and this blog rock!! Sometimes this blog is the only thing that keeps me going!! Thank you so much!! Doodlebug, please stop the negativity!! I am sure we have seen of enough negative pregnancy tests and our own negative thoughts without having to read mean and hateful things posted by you.
Naomi, your blog rocks! I’m a big fan from Argentina! Don’t be upset, pls… comments like Doodlebug’s one are so stupid! Just ignore them.
I have been reading you since reason #1…. still no pregnant!… Wouldn’t it be just great if we got pregnant at the same time!?
So very true! I can’t count how many times I have thought this – been told this – and watched it slip away.
BTW Doodlebug is a douche. That is all.
you know what, I actually feel really sorry for Doodlebug. If she came here and all she could do is pick apart your HILARIOUS post, then obviously she’s in a really bad place right now. Doodlebug, I would imagine you just got bad news…and AF does suck, but please don’t make rude comments about Naomi. Thanks.
Yeah, all those friends I was supposed to be pregnant with now have 5-year- old’s. That didn’t pan out so well! Haha… love it!
LOVE IT!! lol
My first attempt at TTC was 8 yrs ago, when my BF and I decided to “get pg together” …. hmmm… he is now 7yrs old… with two siblings, and ALL my friends have kids… while I … well… wtill waiting would be an under statement… lol
Agree with “If I had a dollar for every comment”…. yep… BILLIONAIRE!!!
Hoping for BFP for all!! xx
Rock on Naomi! Loveeee this entry. As for doodlebug..I think someone stuck your wand in the wrong place. Have a Nice day!
I Love it! And to answer the question, NO! BTDT. Was pregnant with our first miracle wilst eldest sister was pregnant with her huge Hudini Opps. Not fun.
Shared baby shower, so not fun!
We started TTC for our next one at the same time. My youngest nephew is now 11 months. We are in the midst of IVF #2 after 6 IUI attempts.
This is brilliant!! I had this comment while TTC from my sister-in-law who announced her second pregnancy the week before my other sister-in-law announced her third. Both get pregnant first time, everytime. I got the 9 months of comparing pregnancies, imagining what each baby will be like, complaining from the husbands that it only took one try, and “it’s awesome that we get to do this together!!”. Yep…really awesome…
It seems that many women leave it far too long before seeking some help with fertility. If you are struggling to get pregnant the first thing you need to find out is if you are ovulating, because if you are not ovulating you can’t get pregnant.
Try using these tests to check for ovulation http://www.sme-fertility.co.uk/ovulation-tests.html
If after 3 months you see no signs of ovulation then you need to speak with your GP !
Thank you for this! My sister and I wanted to get pregnant together. Of course, she got pregnant immediately and I’m now on month 18 of trying. The low point was that her sister-in-law DID get pregnant with her and at the baby shower I threw for my sister they were posing together for pictures with their big third trimester bellies. I refused to snap that shot.
I’m just sick of family asking when we are going to have babies… or telling me that my cousins illegitimate child needs a cousin to play with… and I should supply said playmate. My aunt suggested a grandchild would be a great Christmas gift for my parents. Another (older) male cousin said I need to give a grandchild to my parents. WTF do they have the right to tell me what to do with my body? Regardless if I’ve been trying or not it’s out of line – it jsut makes it sting that much more that they bring it up every time I see them… makes me not want to go to family get togethers anymore. My two closest friends know whats going on, but its just harder telling family. I’ve thought about bringing it up in a really cruel way… like next time they ask me just come back well we’ve beeen trying for x number of months but thanks for rubbing it in a little more – then just leave the whole place. I’m over it. No one believed me with I said It’d probably be really hard for me to get pregnant – they just said Oh, I’m sure you’ll be just fine. We have other friends that keep putting off trying, and thats fine, but they tried to get my husband and I to wait with them so we could have kids at the same time… I told my husband I knew what would happen, she would get pregnant and two years later We’d still be trying. I’m trying ot see the funny side, but its like certain people don’t take it seriously because they don’t have the problem. Sorry for rambling, I’ve never really talked about it before. Love this blog. Makes me feel not so alone.
Right up front with you all… I’m not infertile.
Firstly, I adore humour in spite of heartache, so when I saw this on a friend’s page, I followed the link.
Reading your comments, I see a lot of heartache, but also, I see some wonderful women that are now practiced at holding their tongues, so as not to offend others, when those others make insensitive comments.
I’ve never thought it “would be fun” to be pregnant at the same time as anyone else… pregnancies are all individual, and to want to group them like a herd… well… not me thankyou!
Goodluck ladies.
First, I would like to add to the ” lines you’ll probably hear” list. My DH has suggested that we borrow a ’70s thunderbird (or any generic sports car for that matter, get drunk and do it because it worked so well for so many couples, accidently.
Secondly, like Manda, I have been asked repeatedly when we are going to have babies. And my dear sweet hubby was always taking the blame. Saying he had nascar swimmers, ” they’re really fast, they just keep making left turns”. To the point that a friend teased him about it everytime we saw him. I got fed up to the point that while at dinner with said friend, my in laws, brother in laws and his gf, I snapped back. Saying “he could have the best swimmers in the world but without me releasing an egg it wouldn’t do us any good now would it!” I was completely embarassed at the time but that friend hasn’t made fun if my hubby since so there was some victory at least.
Hey girls, while we’re on this topic… Have you noticed that those gorgeous, Victoria’s Secret supermodels all got pregnant at roughly the same time?? I am talking about Gisele Bundchen (on her second baby now), Adriana Lima (just gave birth to her second baby), and Alessandra Ambrosio (also just had her second baby). What the frag. Not only they’re genetically gorgeous but they’re incredibly fertile, too?? OH COME ON.