Apr 21

Huh? Is this thing working? Hello, McFly?? Is the second line darker than the first? Am I surging or ovulating? Whoever invented the Ovulation Predictor Kit obviously never used one before.

The Ovulation Predictor Kit (OPK) is confusing. You read the instructions and it claimed all you have to do is pee on a stick until you see a second line which is darker than the first. Pretty simple right? NOPE! You have just urinated on all seven sticks only to find out no line or a faded line has appeared. Now you purchase more OPKs and see your second line but wait? The line looks faded so you’re not sure if you have detected a surge or not. You look at that stick from every angle and up to the light, and then you compare it with the instructional photos. You then ask for a second opinion (typically your husband/partner) who confirms or is equally confused at the results. If you want an unbiased second opinion, just knock on your neighbor’s door and ask good old Mrs. Wilson what she thinks or maybe even take a photo and ask your friends. You’re a smart person but this damm box is confusing.

The OPKs would be so much better if it just spelled it out for you.. “Hey crazy infertile, you are ovulating now. Get it on!” Well, the good news is if you’ve had baby-making sex with your partner every other day for the past few years, you will never need to buy one. Giddy up!

Hey, Ovulation Predictor Kit, predict this -  we don’t like you!

8 Responses to “#771 The Confusing Ovulation Predictor Kit”

  1. nicole says:

    I love this blog thanks for the humor it does help to laugh every once in awhile

  2. First I had the smiley face sticks but I had to ditch those because I was growing increasingly pissed off that the stick wasn’t smiling at me (and that just felt crazy) so I went to the double-line sticks, which, well, were a disaster. The day I got my surge I peed on three different sticks because I wasn’t sure. Each time I made Blue (partner) investigate them to confirm my findings. It’s quite the bonding experience.

  3. Misty says:

    Thank you so much for this site! I’m glad I’m not the only one standing in my bathroom cursing a little white stick. Every time I waste my money on these things I swear I’ll never buy them again, but a few months later I decide maybe I should try a different brand. They are as addictive as Dr. Google. Maybe we should all buy the ovulation watch? Of course we would still need the sticks to confirm?

  4. Jess says:

    I hate you ovulation kit! I don’t understand you at all.

  5. says:

    Amen, sister! Months and years of frustration with those things, and feeling like I’m the only one who can’t get the stupid things to work. Even though I DO ovulate every month. Curses!

  6. Patrick says:

    Thank you so much for this site! I’m glad I’m not the only one standing in my bathroom cursing a little white stick. Every time I waste my money on these things I swear I’ll never buy them again, but a few months later I decide maybe I should try a different brand. They are as addictive as Dr. Google. Maybe we should all buy the ovulation watch? Of course we would still need the sticks to confirm?

  7. Carolyn says:

    I had a heck of time with these until I started on fertility drugs and saw what a real positive was supposed to look like. The second line really does get darker than the first, and I can tell in 10 seconds if it’s positive or not. In my experience, if I couldn’t quite tell, it was negative for the surge.

  8. Heartsmelody says:

    This month I have been so desperate for a + opk that I’ve done 2 a day, in case I miss the surge. Then, I’ve been staring at the test so hard, I can actually convince myself there’s a second line, which i tell myself is good news, even though I know it’s still not dark enough. I look at the test in the bathroom, living room, near a lamp, by an opened window, and then ask my husband for his opinion. I started testing on cd 9 all the way to cd 21, and went through all my online tests, then went all over town looking for a dollar store that sold them. Guess what? I never got a true positive, after all the obsessing!
    OPK’s are devices of torment and heartache!!!


 
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